liver math

Liver math is the calculation(s) you make throughout the night to help determine if you are sober enough to drive home.

Alcohol is processed by the body at a determined rate (generally one beer/shot/wine glass an hour), and you can save yourself a night in the drunk tank and some legal fees by adhering to liver math.

Liver math or cab fare. Either is a wise choice. Disregard at your own peril.

Friend #1: "My ex just showed up here with her new bf. I'm leaving as soon as the liver math allows it."

Friend #2: "No way! You're my ride! Let's get fucked up and take a cab when the bar closes. I'll drive you to your car tomorrow."

Friend #1: "Good call. Screw that bitch, anyway."

by mrbean34 March 29, 2014

Schlurrohosis of the Liver

Liver damage from excessive alcohol consumption, as described by the afflicted party while intoxicated (again).

Apparently <hiccup> I am suffering from <hiccup> schlurrohosis of the liver...

by Chris Canuck August 14, 2021

crop liver

Someone who makes a stupid/silly mistake or typo. Comes from the pet site Neopets.

He is total crop liver.

by HCer February 25, 2010

Christ's liver

When somebody is annoying you so much and you've lost it with them.

Oh, for Christ's liver, shut up!

by warframe player July 6, 2022

Orphan livers

When someone is very drunk or high, or otherwise affected in a way that makes them excitable or inebriated

"where's John?"
"Oh he won't be here, he was on the orphan livers again last night"
"And he didn't share?"

by The lemoner April 14, 2025

Fried Liver Attack

When you're having reverse-cowgirl sex with someone and you try to spank them, but miss, and wind up slapping their liver instead.

"Yooo I fucked up last night I accidentally gave Mike the Fried Liver Attack! He's gonna leave me for sure, he threw up everywhere!"

by crabapplesouffle November 23, 2020

Antarctica liver

Someone who doesn't know what's happening in the world Or sometimes someone who's kind of dumb

Oh yeah that's my grandma over there she's an Antarctica liver

by Antarctica liver November 15, 2024