have a little sympathy for the jackass down south

Pick-up line for the desperate.

"Hey, can I buy you a drink?"
"No"
"Have a little sympathy for the jackass down south!"
"...I'm getting a restraining order."

by NotARapist April 24, 2005

right lane jackass

Right lane jackass (n): Refers to a driver in the right lane of a multilane street approaching an intersection where the light is red; AND these four other conditions are present: 1) There is plenty of room to be in the middle lane, 2) The driver has no intention of turning right, 3) Cars behind the RLJ have their right blinkers on well in advance of the intersection in the hopes that the driver will notice and move to the other lane and allow them to turn right on red; however 4) The driver is clueless as to his or her surroundings.

Optional criteria, not required for the definition, but frequently present: 1) Drivers behind the RLJ with their blinkers on appear pissed. 2) The intersection has an unusually long cycle time before the light turns green, 3) There is virtually no cross traffic. 4) The RLJ's car has its fuel door open, with the gas cap hanging out.

Passenger: "My contractions are getting closer together. You need to take a right at the next intersection to get to the hospital!"
Driver: "Keep breathing Dear. I'll just put my right turn signal on so that guy in front of us knows to pull to the left before the intersection so we don't have to wait for that light."
Passenger: "He's not pulling over, he just stopped and blocked the right lane, and he's not even turning. Why would he do that?"
Driver: "because he's a right lane jackass and he's clueless. Better hold your legs closed, we may be here awhile"

by MeDavebo September 29, 2014

Lead Footed Pepperoni Jackass

A pizza delivery driver who is speeding, driving recklessly, etc...

That Dumbinoes pizza driver is driving like a lead footed pepperoni jackass.

by JayyTheOrc December 18, 2019

Stonewall Jackass

A person who gives you a hard time about something for seemingly no reason. A person who enjoys being withholding.

That lady at the DMV is a real Stonewall Jackass. She made me wait for an hour in 3 different lines when she could have helped me in 2 minutes.

by PMcC1 January 11, 2010

Professional Jackass

Someone who has been such a jackass that the person has become famous for it.

Osama Bin Laden: I am a professional jackass, and I'm proud of it! And I'm in hell for it! I love being a terrorist!

by Theassfuckerfromapartment1107 December 18, 2012

Certified Jackass

A person who consistently acts like a dumbass but thinks of himself as a smartass. A certified Jackass may never be thankful, no matter how nice someone has been to him.

In other words, a Certified Jackass is someone who shows traits of a Jackass on a regular basis.

Person: I left you an a treat on your desk
Certified Jackass: Does that mean you are ass kissing me now?
Person: Great! So instead of thanking, you are going to be a Certified Jackass that you are!

by Smurf with Blue Eye Liner June 16, 2012

complete jackass

Any person that adds a new definition to a word in urban dictionary that is the exact same as or is a close approximation of the definitions already there. This can also be a person that decides to give a thumbs up to the myriad un-original entries and definitions in UD while over-looking the genius creations of The Original Slim Bavis.

Slim: Yo, that guy is a complete jackass. He posted a definition of pink sock. The one right before it is the EXACT same.
Dan: What a douche.
Salty: A complete jackass. And, he liked "put it a dually" more than "chicken pants."
Dan: Complete jackass.

by The Original Slim Bavis December 23, 2008