whittling a wooden dick

to spend large amounts of time by yourself doing questionable ( homosexual) things.

Anybody seen Dale? He's probably in his shed whittling a wooden dick. A secret h-mo? You don't say.

by Jim Ridge March 21, 2023

Evan Rachel Wood

A literal angel.

I love this woman.

Evan Rachel Wood is the closest thing to God I've ever known.

by Spanky McQueefbottom April 10, 2023

Slapping the Wood

A way to refer to masturbation using male genitalia

"I was Slapping the Wood last night."

by Aubri the Thugshaker May 11, 2023

How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Answer - ALL OF IT

No scrap of wood on the face of the planet would be safe. Scratch that... given the size of the universe it is likely that wood exists on other planets as well. That wood would also be chucked.

Use this as a cleaver and 'safe-for-school' joke when in the company of Chuck Norris fans. Example: Hey guys! How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Guys - We don't know! You - ALL OF IT. Guys - damn man, that was some sick Chuck Norris joke action! You - Yeah, I made that up... How much wood would Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Answer - ALL OF IT

by cloneswilleatme February 2, 2024

Aiden Volk Wood

The coolest and hottest person there is with a knee knocking cock, whom gets all the bitches, some say he is him. He is the one who knocks, not with his hands but his cock.

Aiden Volk Wood is HIM

by GesusWithA"G" November 8, 2023

Aiden Volk Wood

He is what has 3 legs but walks on 2, he is HIM, the one and only. He gets all the bitches. The man we all look at in aw

Wow it's HIM, Aiden Volk Wood

by GesusWithA"G" November 8, 2023

Knock On Wood

When a man masturbates and doesn’t have a towel to clean up

He bashes the head of his penis on a door frame to wipe it off

No towel all good I will knock on wood

by Knock on wood March 21, 2024