Toxic Wank

A toxic wank is where you cum on someone whilst breaking up with them, specifically on the face.

"Omg Jeremy, you came so much!"
"Sorry Jessica that was a toxic wank, we're over"

by Oxford Vaginary October 8, 2021

Fury wank

When someone gets that excited about the boxing they jizz in their pants

Barry was so excited bout the fight he done a fury wank

by Barry charver October 10, 2021

dodgy wank

An additional level of risk to a 'Danger Wank'.

You do the same as a danger wank but have to watch some weird fucked up porn, so if they do catch you it's way worse.

"Dude I'm grounded for 6 months and have to go to therapy because I failed doing a dodgy wank"

by Mrs Pearley November 1, 2021

big telly pokey bum wank

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.

He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.

by Mackem Beefy September 19, 2021

Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

1984 Wank

When the you don't have access to porn so you have to use your imagination to masturbate.

Person 1: 'The battery went on my phone while I was trying to find some porn!'

Person 2: 'Gutted for you'

Person 1: 'It's okay I just had a 1984 wank instead. Takes a bit longer but gets the job done.'

by Phillyfella July 22, 2021

Complicated Wank

A reach around with added difficulty.

While juggling 9 cats and eating Doritos? That’s a complicated wank!

by Dudeknowsstuff July 30, 2021