Loner boner

To have a boner but no one around to see it.

I had such a loner boner the other day.

by Bold_country May 20, 2014

Total Boner

One who repeatedly fails to deliver and constantly fucks up. This person also does a great job of looking like Paul Bunyun, only gayer.

Guy 1: "Look at that guy with the plaid shirt and beard. He totally didn't finish that project in time AND his face is just dumb."

Guy 2: "I think that's Mike W."

Guy 1: "Total boner."

by louis_friend August 6, 2011

Negative Boner

When something turns you off so much, that you’re dick physically cringes and you feel no attraction for a short period of time.

*finds picture of grandma naked*
“Dude! I just got a Negative Boner!”

by ThE cReAtOr July 4, 2018

Boner Botox

Noun, A fact that makes you not want to sleep with a specific person, the idea being that they have made your penis flaccid (if not straight up numb) for an extended period of time with no potential solution for the problem.

Dude: "Do I know anyone you've slept with?"
Chick: "Yeah, your friend Pete hit it. I liked it a lot."
Dude: "Oh man, I did not ever want to be eskimo brothers with that guy. That is such boner botox."
Chick: "What does that mean?"
Dude: "It means I'm not gonna be able to get it up for you for an extended period of time, but just as long as it takes for the grossness to wear off."

by JewishPube December 14, 2010

Faux Boner

A condition caused by a prominent, upward fold of fabric, occurring in the front of pleated slacks when sitting.

John sat down and stood up repeatedly in an effort to convince Susan that it was a faux boner she observed during the morning office meeting, and not the real thing caused by Meg, the hot new secretary.

by richippr September 23, 2013

deflated boner

When an old man gets a boner and all the old nasty extra skin is dangling from it

OMFG I heard my neighbors having sex they are old and i wanna know how the do it with that deflated boner

by LalalalaYOUFAG August 2, 2009

Buzz-Boner

Buzz-Boner refers to the amount of buzz in a certain place . If a buzz-boner is on a flop then the place is not fun ; e.g. Church or a Retirement home . If you have a stiff Buzz-Boner you are at sweet house party or a good club .

Person 1 : Man , how was the party last night .

Person 2 : It was shit , some dude got sick on my pooltable and put my Buzz-Boner on a flop .

Person 1 : What a fucking fun-sponge .
Person 2 : Yeah I know right .

by Andrew1134 May 7, 2009