softie talk

when guys have a heterosexual discussion of their feelings, usually about their girlfriends.

guy1: dude what's dave talking to James about
guy2: oh, he's having a softie talk about how his girlfriend keeps busting his balls

by gingerfox69 January 20, 2009

talking monkies

the most awsome thing known to man

dude, those talking monkies is so fuxin awsome

by the talkin monkey with a hat March 8, 2009

Talking Parrot Phenomenon

The sudden inexplicable inability to demonstrate an action to an audience specifically summoned to view said action.

This phenomenon receives its name from the premise of a pet "talking" parrot who is suddenly silent when guests are invited to see it "talk." "I swear!," says the owner, "He says all kinds of stuff! He says 'hello', he says our names! Really! I don't know why he won't do it now...." while the guests nod and say, "Suuure, he talks. We totally believe you."

EXAMPLE:

You "Every time I try to load this page I get a weird error message. I restarted and everything. Come in here and look at this."

IT Employee: "OK, show me what it's doing."

You: Repeat action that has resulted in a error 17 times in a row. Page now loads no problem. "I swear, it was giving me an error every single time before you were standing here. Talking Parrot Phenomenon, right there."

IT Employee: Gives you skeptical eye.

by Death & Taxes April 10, 2013

secondhand talking

When you want to talk to somebody, but chicken out and end up talking to your friend near them in the hopes that they'll be eavesdropping.

"I really wanted to talk to Lyle about the game last Friday, but my nerves took over."

"So, what did you do?"

"I ended up secondhand talking to him through Lisa. I sure hope he was listening."

by Shy Problems January 22, 2014

Clean Talk

The act of swapping swear words for similar sounding words. Because of a study that went on for 60 - 70 years showing that if you swear in a lifetime you can die 20 - 30 years younger than the average life span.

Fuck = Fudge
Shit = Shite*
Bitch = Biatch
Motherfucker = MotherTrucker
Ass = Butt/Booty
Arse = Bum
Dick = Penis/Balls/nuts
Prick = Pleb
Retard = n00b
Dafuq = Dafudge
Wanker = Tosser
Masturbate =Fap/Shlick
Piss = Pee
Asshole/Arsehole = A hole
Slut,Whore,Slag,skank,hoe = Chav
Fucktard = Fudgetard

Also you can swap words and letters around such as:
Stupid Cunts = Cupid Stunts
Cunt Muffin = Munt Cuffin
Dick Biscuit = Bick Discuit
Cock Nozzle = Nock Cozzle
Dildo Rider = Rildo Dider

Pussy Jockey = Jussy Pockey

Although the last half is not proven clean talk and could result in premature death.

*not proven clean talk

by got balls? May 16, 2014

Turf Talk

Protecting the ground you're walking on, and, then, or, directing traffic on your turf.

That kid had so much skill, he was directing traffic from your pistol to the ground, and away from him so: "TALK ABOUT DROPPING DIMES, YOU LOST A GUN FIGHT TO A KID WITH A KNIFE?" That kid was turfing so hard in your city letting his action do the speaking; TURF TALK.

by Death0A December 1, 2014

trouble talk

Woman use it to create rapport, men will avoid it even at the risk of their status. Basically, drama, squabbling, quarreling, death "threats," blackmailing, gossiping, etc, whether it be in person, in public or in private, on the phone, over social media or text, even Snapchat, etc.

Wife: "You're a piece of shit, screw you."
Husband: "Okay."
Ten minutes later:
"You fucking CUNT BITCH, I will have you deported to fucking Vietnam."
Wife: "Oh, good, maybe then I could find a real man, even they aren't as tiny as you, jerk."
Husband: "I just measured all 8 1/4 inches of it after watching excellent Asian anal porn. If you weren't so god damn ugly, you wouldn't have a tiny problem."
Wife: "Asian Anal??? I always knew you were gay :)"
Husband: "Well that's been enough trouble talk for one day, will return in 10+ hours, going to fucking sleep, have fun at your mom's."

by Serval.Sychotic! December 3, 2014