crack turtle

A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.

Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."

by thepranxter March 21, 2018

turtle

I human thats stupid and puts his or her shirt over his or her head to look like a turtle tucking its into its shell

'hey look Timmy is turtle ing his shirt again what i fucking idoit"

by HipsterDFilms April 3, 2018

Texas Turtles

Another name for bed bugs.

Don’t you know that hotel is prime territory of Texas Turtles?

by Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov May 23, 2018

Turtle head

When you have the urge to shove a head into a small crevice

Hey! Billy is being a turtle head. He is trying to shove his head into her butthole

by Tyler.com August 13, 2022

Tell a Turtle Time

Tell a Turtle Time is when you’re gathering with people and sharing about your day or sharing something with someone.

Herman called Jennifer up and asked her if they could get together soon for “Tell a Turtle Time”.

by thalia_ August 20, 2022

Tell a Turtle

Tell a Turtle just means that you’re telling a friend or someone something.

Craig told Miranda that she had fancy pink shoes and Miranda yelled “Tell a Turtle!”

by thalia_ August 20, 2022

Wet Turtle Cream

(verb) when a man makes a pan of delicious brownies, and immediatly upon removal from the oven, inserts his dick directly into the center of the steaming hot brownie pan then immediately sticks his erect dick into ice cream.

"Hey Greg, would you like a brownie? They are fresh and very hot."
"Sure, I'd love one...Wait, what the hell? Why is there a hole in the middle of the pan of brownies?"
"I wet Turtled them."
"Oh Fred, you scank!"
"Ginkies Greg! All I did was wet Turtled them... hey do you have any ice cream?"
"Why yes Fred we have some cookies and cream, would you like some?"
"Yes sure, bring it over I will scoop some for us."
"Ginkies Fred I can give you an ice cream scooper, why are you scooping it with your dick?"
"Um duh Greg haven't you ever heard of a wet Turtle cream? Creme de la crem dude."

by Orange Kookaburra September 2, 2022