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dirt merchant

A derogatory term for a scuzzy wannabe-hippie drug dealer, primarily selling skunkweed and possibly a little fake blotter acid for good measure. Always unwashed, with greasy matted hair (typically dreadlocks), the dirt merchant has horrible B.O. with an over-stench of patchouli mixed into it. Filthy feet poking out of Birkenstocks and lots of hemp jewelry are a hallmark of the dirt merchant, as is the inability to form a coherent sentence. Favorite bands are The Grateful Dead (of course), Phish, and the String Cheese Incident. Probably homeless, though he or she may live in a busted-down bus or VW Vanagon, probably with at least 5 other dirt merchants and one or two stinky dogs.
That dirt merchant just tried to sell me a bag of shake for $35!

Shit, remember that dirt merchant I met who was slinging acid next to that Port-o-Potty at the String Cheese Incident show? She totally gave me crabs, man!
by Lady Tangerine August 3, 2010
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dirt merchant

derogatory term for paparazzi, or anyone involved in the tabloid magazine/celebrity gossip business
“those guys at TMZ are a bunch of dirt merchants”

“Perez Hilton is a fucking low life, piece of shit, ass face, dirt merchant
by tl77 November 26, 2010
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Filth Merchant

someone who is involved with the usage and distribution of filth.
i'm going to that filth merchant over there to buy some filth.

you absolute filth merchant
by lounging_howeh October 7, 2009
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Patter Merchant

Someone who can physically talk the hind legs of a dead dog, the merchant is persistant-with patter, arrogant by nature, laugable, and a complete twat...
"yip, yip, yip, yak, yak, yak,"

-can i hear the pitter patter of tiny bullshit??? you patter merchant!
by hollister1979 March 22, 2012
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pipe merchant

someone who loves or is very skilled at using a man's penis (pipe)
Rebecca Feighery is a professional pipe merchant
by TalTallon March 5, 2011
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paige merchant

A fucking bitch who should more or less end her life
"That Paige merchant girl is really deceiving and thinks she's hot shit, tell her to go away."
by Rollanddd November 2, 2013
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Dirt merchant

A broad term applicable to those who reek of cigarettes, cheap body spray, and 84 chrysler lebaron. These folks are highly adept at pop culture but lack any semblance to intelligence, but they will disguise this by saying they are street smart. Usually dirt merchants will know everything about every topic. The men usually grow unusually long goatees because they think it is intimidating.
Dude your friend who works down at the cabinet shop who thinks he has a cool grow room with flourescent lights and owns that damn dog thats outta control and jumps all over you when you come in is a total dirt merchant.

Dude that dirt merchant smells like the inside of someones asshole and I can see fleas jumping out of his ridiculously long goatee.
by ttmike42 January 12, 2009
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