mathsturbation

1. In an attempt to prove a point, gathering and assembling data in such a way that one only convinces oneself of its validity
2. Trying to justify an incorrect opinion, statement, or assumption, by manipulating available data in a way that is only satisfying to the person with the incorrect opinion, statement, or assumption.

He rattled off a bunch of obscure statistics to defend his vote on the stimulus package, but it was all mathsturbation.

by RVLambo February 1, 2009

Maths Teachers

A collective name for a group of people who can't teach shit. Our recent studies have found that 46.3% of people taught by maths teachers are dumb shits.

Kid 1: aren't maths teachers such dumb shits. They can't teach for their lives!

Kid 2: i know right! I don't know anything 'cause this teacher is so shit. What is 2+2? How would I know!

by US Scientist Institution February 14, 2019

Bad maths

This term has come from the study of fractals. To simplify, fractals and self similarity are the geometric principals that can be found throughout nature and indeed the universe as a common blueprint of growth. Things often appear aesthetically pleasing or beautiful because they are mathematically/geometrically perfect. The term 'bad maths' refers to something that is not aesthetically pleasing and out of sync with the universe.

Someone tells an awful joke and there is silence, this is 'bad maths'.

A large woman is seen in the front window of a restaurant eating alone, dribbling chicken fat down her fat fucking face 'that is bad maths'.

Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, boy gets lucky, goes home with girl, girl has penis.. the unverse is not working in an aesthetically pleasing way.. bad maths.

by The Bionic Fox November 24, 2011

Mathsterbation

Mathsterbation is the act of masturbating when a maths problem or assignment becomes too difficult and/or tedious to complete. It is often practised when the subject has lost all hope in completing his maths and can see no other option.

Friend 1: Hey, what did you get for question 4?

Friend 2: *fap* *fap* *fap* Go Away!

Friend 1: Mathsterbation already? That's weak...

by highoffmathsfaps November 5, 2013

Danger-Maths

Danger-Maths is a real man's sport. Attempted by many, mastered by none.

In an attempt to prove mathematical superiority and serve maximum disrespect to your lesser mathematical colleagues, Danger-Maths is game in where the person to pick up their pen last during a maths exam wins.

It is an event that requires not only courage and mathematical prowess, but you must also have extraordinarily rapid hand eye coordination.

Do you think you're good enough to succeed at Danger-Maths? I highly doubt it. Go back to BTEC Further Maths you imbecile.

Martin once attempted Danger-Maths. He is now a bin-man.

Charlie was the master of Danger-Maths, he even left turning up to the exam to the last possible second.

by ItsDanH June 16, 2016

maths

The correct form of the Americanism "Math", as a contraction of mathematics (a contraction featuring at least the first and last letter of the two words). The most beautiful thing ever observed by mankind; the physics of bottle caps. I only wish the real universe was as beautiful as the Cartesian plane. People usually claim it has no use because they are too ignorant/stupid to understand it. Uses include everything not involving the study of literature. The ONLY pure science.

I love maths!

I'm sure looking forward to Mr Black's maths class

Zero point nine repeater equals one. That’s some cool maths
.

by 0ero May 5, 2006

maths circus

Maths Circus is the best fucking game in the world.

Maths Circus is cool

by Maths Circus fan August 4, 2006