Newton, Iowa

A glorious little shit hole in Central Iowa, well known for not having anything to do, not having any place to work, and having lots of weed. If you live in Newton, Iowa, you are either addicted to drugs, too poor to move to a better place, or an old, retired person. Newton, Iowa offers a variety of activities for young people to do, such as smoke weed, drive around town for six hours with no destination (sometimes while smoking weed), go to the roller skating rink (if you're 12), smoke weed, attend one of the 50 churches, eat fast food, smoke weed, have unprotected sex with multiple partners (at once or separately), go bowling, or cook meth, just to name them all. Newton, Iowa also has a fairly new race track, so now everything is just FUCKING DANDY! You can't smoke a race track, so very few Newton teens enjoy it. Newton, Iowa is 30 miles away from everything. Avoid this town like the plague.

Welcome to Newton, Iowa. We hope you brought something to do.

Man 1: "Where are you from?"
Man 2: "Newton, Iowa."
Man 1: "Sucks to be you, man."
Man 2: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so baked right now."

by hodgepodge April 23, 2012

Earlham Iowa

Pretty much the best place on Earth and is full of some potheads and a lot corn. The school is full of only badasses and kicks VM ass on the reg.

"hey ya know Earlham, the motherfuckers are dope."
"Ya they kick VM's ass"
"Earlham Iowa is great"

by Nebraskasucks October 31, 2018

University of Northern Iowa

The smallest and best of Iowa's three state Universities. Nestled in Cedar Falls with over and 10,000 trees on campus and a near 2:1 girl to guy ratio, a pretty damn awesome school.

You may have seen us on YouTube due to the massively popular Interlude dance.

You may have seen us on national television when we knocked Kansas out of the NCAA tourney in 2010.

The University of Northern Iowa STUNS Kansas In Massive Upset.

Ho! The Purple and the Gold, Victory for U-N-I!

by UNIPanthersGuy September 22, 2011

Clear Lake, Iowa

Clear Lake, Iowa, is a city in north-central Iowa. The lake for which it is named isn't clear; it's green. The city features a quality education system, but many people here can end up to be slightly biased when it comes to matters like gay marriage, abortion, homosexual pastors in church, and other major issues. It is a primarily Republican town. The population can sometimes double in the summer tourist season. This town was home to the last concert of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper, who crashed a few miles north of town in an airplane early in the morning of February 3rd, 1959. The school mascot is a lion.

Edward: Clear Lake, Iowa sucks; it's full of snobs and bitches.

Joe: Shut up, we're WAY better than Mason City, Iowa or Ventura, Iowa. Mason's full of druggies and Ventura is Clear Lake's reject school for the people who didn't have the balls to stand it here!

Edward: ...I heard they have a good band program....

Joe: Ours is better! And we completely own them in football!

Edward: ...shut up.

by AnIowan January 9, 2011

Charles City, Iowa

A city in northeastern Iowa. Which is located about 30 miles east from Mason City. That had a population of about 7,373 people in 2017. It is the county seat of Floyd county. It is home of the comets.

Person 1: Where are you from?
Person 2: Charles City, Iowa.

by NoChillPhil5 March 6, 2019

Johnston, Iowa

Johnston is a very pleas-sent place. You need some money to live here. You have a lot of freedom to be yourself and do what you please. Its a very different community, but one of the best. We also have outstanding educational ranks.

"Johnston, Iowa" is great & peaceful.

by Smh to the haters. June 14, 2011

Storm Lake, Iowa

A ceased pool of a town, home to two packing plants that stink up the city and pollute the lake. The packing plants have brought drugs and illegal immigrants to the town. The State of Iowa threw 33 million dollars to help clean it up by building a hotel/waterpark. Known as "the mistake by the lake," King's Pointe Resort hasnt made a profit yet and will not ever.
Due to the criminal population, Storm Lake's Police force is an over-aggressive bunch of 18 year old crybabbies who shake in their boots as they arrest the innocent college kids who reside there rather than the ex-con from south Chicago. Giving the town the slogan, "come on vacation, leave on probation."

You can't polish a tard.
Throwing $33 million at Storm Lake, Iowa was a waste of taxpayers money.

by bigredkahuna March 30, 2011