Skip to main content

Crumpeting

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.
"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."
by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023
mugGet the Crumpeting mug.

Crumpet

Pass me a crumpet

I identify as a crumpet
by Tom whithout a k June 17, 2020
mugGet the Crumpet mug.

buttery crumpet

When you slab that butter on the crumpet and it melts all the way through to the plate.
That was such a buttery crumpet I licked the plate afterwards.
by anonymous August 18, 2022
mugGet the buttery crumpet mug.

Crumpets and tea

Crumpets and tea is a British food, usually eaten for breakfast or afternoon paired with tea often. It is made from flour, milk or water and yeast.
Friend 1: Hey bruv you wanna come over and have some crumpets and tea mate?

Friend 2: what kind of bloody question is that? Of course I do!
by sex minister April 26, 2022
mugGet the Crumpets and tea mug.

Jacket Crumpet

Aww man I accidentally made a jacket crumpet.
by A ham sandwich April 28, 2022
mugGet the Jacket Crumpet mug.

Crumpet stuffer

A derogatory term used to describe the British and their obsession with tea and crumpets.
American: "Here comes the Crumpet stuffer!"
by He8i3 May 4, 2022
mugGet the Crumpet stuffer mug.

Sticky Crumpet

When a girl does her hair up in Princess Leia buns and she fellates you and a friend until you both jizz on the buns.
Me and Michael gave my girl a sticky crumpet the other evening.
by Bigjoe22?? December 30, 2021
mugGet the Sticky Crumpet mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email