Bert

Term for an absolute skeezer that can’t get over a lil thottie. He tends to say very depressing things and does some bitch shit constantly for attention.

damn bruh! Quit being such a bert
He just got his heartbroken, hopefully he doesn’t become a real Bert

by stevowen March 22, 2019

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert

Verb. Drinking heavily to the point of passing out!

I'm going out and get Bert

by PsyopMedic November 9, 2020

Bert

When you get chlamydia in your anus.

Damn, I had sex with him and he slipped it in my butt and now I have to go get tested for the bert.

by Definezodiac October 14, 2020

Pulling a Bert

The act of peeing in a cup and then selling it as lemonade

1. The food truck my friend was working at ran out of lemonade, so he had to pull a bert to sell the last 2 cups

2. Bro, did you see Sam pulling a bert yesterday

by Gopher7923 March 19, 2024

old bert

Evil incarnate. If you run into an Old Bert it is best to try and escape before it notices you are there. If escape is not possible then trying to make a deal to spare your life is the best option. Old Bert's feed on the human soul and if hungry will stop at nothing to get it's next meal. If already fed then it's personality will revert to a calm state, although if angered it would be lucky if the body was found in a piece larger then a finger nail. It is best to avoid Old Bert's at all cost but the reward for capturing one alive is enough to get you your own private island with money to spare. Approach Old Bert's at own risk with full knowledge that it will most likely eat you and your soul.

You hear about the city that was destroyed, apparently an Old Bert caused it.

by Old_Bert July 8, 2017

Bert

A true bellend aka a smithy. #thinksheisgodsgift #cockwamble

Yo mert there's Bert what a cunt.

by Koplover89 March 8, 2019