a nigel danger wank..

a nigel danger wank
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.

a nigel danger wank.. splat

by mrs tosser October 7, 2025

wank on the beach

when you don’t have all the ingredients for sex on the beach ,settle for what you’ve already got, have a wank on the beach

Bro can you give me another wank on the beach, it’s so good!?!?

by CocktailKing67 October 13, 2025

wank theatrics

The images played out in your "wank bank" as you proceed to knock one out

Imaginative stimulation when there is no pornographic material to hand

( 2 very attractive ladies walk by) .... Those 2 hotties will be lezzing off in my wank theatrics tonight

by Mr blue March 11, 2016

hoover wank

When Gareth gets a new hoover and because he hasn’t got a woman he uses the hoover to pleasure himself

Gareth was getting excited looking at the new hoover as he anticipated a hoover wank later

by Jessdirty April 20, 2021

The Lifetime Wank Award

When Some Takes Ages To Cum While Masturbating

I heard That Person Over There Took 4Hours to cum while masturvbating last night,
Wow, He Deserves The Lifetime Wank Award

by uuuuhuhuhuhuhuhu June 25, 2010

Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

Piss wank

Having intercourses and posing instead of cuming

Oh dear your the one who piss wanked

by Roasts August 19, 2018