The Colon Three Cult

A cult of weirdos who play geometry dash and spam colon three in a text channel. And we play a lot of geometry dash, believe me.
Owned by Prismapeia.

"Can you send it in The Colon Three Cult?"

by TheCub1cal February 26, 2025

Everything Is A Cult Now Theory

The sociological observation that modern society, thanks to the internet shattering mass media monoculture, has fragmented into countless competing tribes, fanbases, and ideological subcultures that all operate with cult-like dynamics. It's not that actual high-control groups with abusive leaders have multiplied, but that the psychological architecture of cults—fervent belief, "us vs. them" identity, devotion to a leader or ideology, and the conviction that the mainstream is fundamentally broken—has become the default mode for online fandoms, political movements, brand loyalists, and wellness communities. The theory argues we've gone back to a pre-20th century norm where culture is just "a bunch of cults stacked on top of each other".

*Example: "Explaining the Everything Is A Cult Now Theory to my dad, I said, 'You had three TV channels and called it culture. We have 8 million micro-communities on niche apps. Your Star Trek fan club was a dorky hobby; our 'Stanny' Twitter circle that analyzes every Swift lyric for secret messages and attacks anyone who criticizes her is a full-blown digital congregation. Same human wiring for belonging, just a different prophet and a worse holy text.'"*

by AbzuInExile January 31, 2026

Hard Problem of Cult

The central, frustrating dilemma that arises when you accept the "Everything Is A Cult Now" premise: figuring out where to draw the line between metaphorical "cult-like" behavior and an actual, harmful cult that employs psychological control and coercion. If the mechanisms (charismatic influence, groupthink, devaluing outsiders) are everywhere, how do we distinguish a harmless "Peloton cult" from a dangerous one like NXIVM? The "Hard Problem" is that the label becomes so diluted by casual use for any passionate fandom that it loses its power to warn about genuine abuse, creating a crisis of discernment where real harm can be camouflaged.

Example: "My friend called our marathon training group a 'cult' because we have a coach and matching shirts. I hit him with the Hard Problem of Cult: 'Is our coach love-bombing new runners to isolate them from their families? Is he using confession sessions to create shame-based loyalty? No, he's just telling us to hydrate. Save the C-word for the crypto-guru who's getting followers to sign over their assets, not for our running club that sometimes talks about carb-loading too much.'"

by AbzuInExile January 31, 2026

Concept Problem of Cult

The intellectual dead-end you reach when the word "cult" expands to describe literally everything, rendering it conceptually meaningless. If every fitness program, skincare brand, political party, and hobby group is a "cult," then the term stops identifying a specific, dangerous type of social organization and just becomes a lazy synonym for "things people are really into that I don't like". This overuse is a "Concept Problem" because it destroys the word's analytical utility. We end up in pointless debates about whether "Swifties are a cult" instead of using a clear, evidence-based model (like the BITE model of authoritarian control) to identify groups that actually destroy autonomy and cause harm.

Example: "The podcast spent two hours debating if 'CrossFit is a cult.' That's the whole Concept Problem of Cult right there. Instead of applying a real framework for control, they just listed things members are passionate about. By that logic, my grandma's intense bridge club is a cult because they have a strict hierarchy, special jargon, and think all other card games are inferior. The word means nothing now except 'organized enthusiasm that seems weird to outsiders.'"

by AbzuInExile January 31, 2026

Theory of Constructed Cultures

The view that culture isn't a static inheritance passed down like DNA, but a dynamic set of practices, values, and symbols that a group actively builds, debates, and modifies to adapt to new circumstances. Traditions are often "invented," and what seems ancient was frequently constructed quite recently to create a sense of shared identity and continuity in a changing world.

Example: "Modern Scottish tartans for specific clans? Mostly constructed in the 19th century. The Theory of Constructed Cultures shows that what feels like an ancient, essential identity is often a recently built toolkit for solidarity and tourism. Culture isn't a museum piece you inherit; it's a workshop where you build 'who we are' in the present, often using recycled parts from the past."

by Abzu Land January 31, 2026

Theory of Cultural Placebo

The idea that central elements of a culture—its foundational myths, national epics, or cherished historical narratives—act as placebos for collective identity. They may be historically inaccurate or simplistic, but they provide a sense of shared origin, purpose, and resilience. The narrative itself heals cultural wounds, fosters solidarity, and motivates collective action, regardless of its factual purity.

Theory of Cultural Placebo Example: The American "Founding Fathers" mythos serves as a powerful Cultural Placebo. The simplified story of wise, unified men creating a perfect democracy is historically messy, but it provides a potent narrative of origin and ideals. It allows a diverse nation to feel a shared identity and purpose, "treating" the anxieties of disunion and historical complexity with a story of noble beginnings.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 6, 2026

Theory of Cultural Charlatanism

The examination of how cultures can be co-opted or led by figures, movements, or industries that sell a fake or commodified version of authenticity. The cultural charlatan markets a prepackaged "rebellion," a sterilized "tradition," or a mass-produced "spiritual enlightenment," draining it of its original meaning and power while profiting from the collective yearning for it. They are the counterfeiters of cultural capital.

Theory of Cultural Charlatanism Example: The wellness industry is rife with Cultural Charlatanism. It takes ancient, complex spiritual and medicinal practices from various cultures (yoga, ayahuasca ceremonies, "Eastern wisdom"), strips them of their context and depth, repackages them as luxury self-care products for Western consumers, and sells them at a premium. The charlatan sells the aesthetic of cultural depth while providing only a shallow, commercialized simulacrum.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 6, 2026