The Twat
I once knew a man that was a twat,
He's every thought was that of an imbecile...
He was wholly unjustified in his every word;
When he was in a twatish mood...
Which was exceedingly annoying,
And didn't take anything to start him off...
Save perhaps being content or happy;
You'd think that he was jealous, but this twat was not...
The twat uhh'd and err'd and ahh'd,
Because he was an annoying twat as well...
He passed twatish judgements of events;
And his twat brain got it wrong 100% every time...
He never said please or thank you,
Because he had twat manners too...
And he never gave praise and rarely encouragement;
Because he was an ungrateful twat also...
He preferred the company of fools,
Because they made him look good compared to him...
But only a twat would be so easily pleased;
Like boasting of being a lolly stick stood up in dog shit...
Well; the twat didn't have many friends,
Because.people saw.right through him...
He was fine approximately half of the time;
Which suggests his brain was divided between a twat half and normal...
Quiet why this guy was a twat?
Defies all explanations...
If the best we can do is to just annoy people;
Then that is the most twatish excuse for an existence...
I once knew a man that was a twat,
He's every thought was that of an imbecile...
He was wholly unjustified in his every word;
When he was in a twatish mood...
Which was exceedingly annoying,
And didn't take anything to start him off...
Save perhaps being content or happy;
You'd think that he was jealous, but this twat was not...
The twat uhh'd and err'd and ahh'd,
Because he was an annoying twat as well...
He passed twatish judgements of events;
And his twat brain got it wrong 100% every time...
He never said please or thank you,
Because he had twat manners too...
And he never gave praise and rarely encouragement;
Because he was an ungrateful twat also...
He preferred the company of fools,
Because they made him look good compared to him...
But only a twat would be so easily pleased;
Like boasting of being a lolly stick stood up in dog shit...
Well; the twat didn't have many friends,
Because.people saw.right through him...
He was fine approximately half of the time;
Which suggests his brain was divided between a twat half and normal...
Quiet why this guy was a twat?
Defies all explanations...
If the best we can do is to just annoy people;
Then that is the most twatish excuse for an existence...
Wot a Twat!
by Smeaglez April 10, 2024
Get the Twatmug. The act of Garret'ing a situation. Actions taken that limit the amount of exposed breast in the group chat.
Kayci was excitedly anticipating her bribe payment when someone Twat Swatted her heavenly ordained blessing.
by BajanKing February 25, 2019
Get the Twat Swatmug. Josh: Did you hear Marvin is moving to Dubai?
Gavin: I always thought he would. It is a twat magnet after all.
Hugh: Gavin just graduated and got a job at goldman Sachs
Lisa: Typical! I always thought he was a total arsehole. No wonder he's ended up at that twat magnet.
Gavin: I always thought he would. It is a twat magnet after all.
Hugh: Gavin just graduated and got a job at goldman Sachs
Lisa: Typical! I always thought he was a total arsehole. No wonder he's ended up at that twat magnet.
by Twat_disliker April 12, 2023
Get the Twat magnetmug. A vagina that has been in fishnet stockings for a full shift or at lease two shows. See also two show pussy.
by SexiestRexiest May 24, 2019
Get the Twat wafflemug. by teeeeeeheeeeeteeeee August 21, 2019
Get the Twat Wafflemug. A middle aged cretin who dwells in there attic playing with train sets To avoid interacting with the misses due to the underlying hatred of her driven by the fact she spends all his money on new shoes and cars to impress her boss so she can get filled in.
by Bneth September 11, 2018
Get the Train set twatmug. by BigBoyBurren March 28, 2021
Get the TWATsmug.