California Dad

A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.

"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1

"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1

by plus-size albert December 29, 2020

California condo

A vehicle bought and used primarily for residential purposes

Times are hard but at least I have a California condo.

by Balls2Wall February 15, 2021

California Corn Cob

When your girlfriend bites down on your forearm and pretends to eat it or take a bite out of it. Can also describe hickeys on the forearm.

“Are you in a biting mood baby? Do you need a California Corn Cob?”

by Augustguy10 February 18, 2021

California Middle Class

A state of living where despite both of the parents making 6 figure salaries, they are just barely able to afford to live in the one story bungalow of a house because it costs $900,000 for no reason.

Usually when it comes to the family it self:
The daughter is a moody brat
The son is a wannabe gangster

The mom wears way too much makeup

And the dad is an idiot

"You're middle class right?"
"Kind of.... I'm upper middle class.... like, California Middle class you could say"

by Plus-Size albert48 February 22, 2021

California

California the Texas wannabe's

fuck you Oklahoma you're next , you'll get it worse than California

by thatonekidfromTexas February 25, 2021

California Omelette

The California Omelette is the act of filling a squirt gun tank with vaginal discharge and smegma and using it to soak your enemies. Often times, urine is added to the mix to thin out the thick cheese-like discharges.

Tonya thinks she got away stealing my mans! Ima show that ho! Ima give her a California Omelette.

by Mega Hemroids February 26, 2021

California

A place where the whole government is fucking corrupt and they are douchebags.

"yooo! the californian goverment is fucking messed up!"
"i agree dude!"

by TTROWitchy February 27, 2021