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Christian

A funny guy that bets people he will make roller coasters! He has a really weird ringtone
1. I called Christian

2. *No answer*
3. Hi if your trying to call Christian u have the wrong number
by Hockey_Funny_True June 1, 2020
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Christian

A big booty DILF Daddy who dominates a bitch with a 9 inch dick. Usually does sports and is naturally athletic with the advantage of his third leg. If you go out with a guy named Christian, BACKS WILL BE BROKEN
Christian is BIG
by JayCuttler November 16, 2021
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How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.
Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."
by Hym Iam June 14, 2024
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Christian

Legendary, awesome person. Cool, funny, attractive, nice, smart, fast, strong. Its the definition of a perfect person.
"I met the perfect man!"

"Christian?"

"Of course! Who else?!"

"You are blessed
by 1 inch punisher January 19, 2017
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Christian

He is the best boyfriend you will ever have he's sweet kind and cute and is super silly but he treats his girlfriends right and loves them every much and will never look at another girl while dating you he's super handsome and no one will replace him he likes girls with brown and hair and that is super funny and sweet he likes the girls with dog names like Lucy Sophie Nicole Bella ect you should never leave him bc he's the best and so handsome watch out for the Christian's they will make you fall in love with them super quick and you can't get enough
That boy is so Christian
by Rachel June 26, 2018
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Christian

A hateful asshole who think they're superior to literally anyone else on this entire planet because of their mental illness, aka their religion. They can also get offended by literally anything, such as a little boy playing with a doll or a little girl playing soccer
Example 1:

Christian person: **yapping about Jesus in a conversation that has nothing to do with that**

Non-Christian person: is it possible to have a normal conversation with you? Oh who am i kidding? The answer is obviously no!

Example 2:

LGBTphobic Christian: your disgusting community stole the rainbow from us!

Gay man: didn't you guys steal the plus symbol from math?

Example 3:

Christian spammer: Hi guys, i came to spread the gospel, blah blah blah

Casual Youtuber: not again... I'm so tired of getting these comments

Example 4:

Young boy: **pointing at a Barbie in a store shelf** i want this one!

Mom: sure sweetie!

Christian Karen: hey, you shouldn't be getting that for your son! Do you want him to go to hell?

Mom: hell isn't real, miss. Cmon son, let's go pay for your new doll

Example 5:

Young girl: hey mom, can i play soccer with my friends from school at the park today?

Christian mom: no, because that's for boys only! If a girl does boy stuff, she goes to hell! You don't want that, do you?

Young girl:

Example 6 (final example):

Doctor: congrats ma'am, your baby is intersex! What would you like to name them?

Christian mom: NO! I refuse to name that demon! God only made man and woman!

Doctor: Fine, i'll take your baby in and raise them myself!

Christian mom: good! Get that vile abomination away from me!
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christian

christian is the most caring person you could ever meet. he will always make sure you're comfortable and safe with him. he's the meaning of perfect, you can hardly find flaws in him. he will always be there for you and make sure you're alright. he will make sure to help you whenever you're struggling. christian always comes up with the cutest nicknames for other people. he's really easy to talk to and is really honest. at the end of the day he will always be the sweetest person you'll ever meet. <3
"you know the known christian guy?"
"the one who's always handsome?"
"yep, him"
by eajjae January 16, 2022
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