Jehovah's Witnesses

The 144k sequestered Witnesses testifying in the longest trial in history. They're not supposed to talk about the trial but can't help themselves and won't shut up about it. At the kangaroo courthouse the defense will Cross-examine the hostile Witnesses and then call the Methodists to the stand to discredit all of Jehovah's Witnesses. Whether Kato Kailin is to testify is still uncertain, nonetheless, the trial is expected to wrap up around the year 3030 with Judgement Day sometime in April, however the JW legal team will almost certainly appeal the decision and demand a re-trial.

Headline: "Christmas Cancelled Again!! Persecution to call Jehovah's Witness #133,411 next week." also: "Jehovah's Witnesses Watchtower leaflet discovered in chambers - Judge Judy to Step Down"

In Other News: "Muslim Jihadi explodes onto the scene, siezes the lead in the race to heaven - #144,001 enters Pearly Gates as Donny & Marie's bicycles are damaged by mysterious bombing excommunicating them out of the race - Utah outraged."

Politics Today: "Burning Bush singes eyebrows during pagan oil and fire ritual and false idol worship of wealth and power"

by Russ & Linda August 23, 2007

Jehovah's Witnesses

people dedicated to God to do his will, or rather are led to believe that they are doing gods will

"The Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door today I just told them that I wasnt interested and they kept talking so I shut the door, but they refused to let me by placing their foot in the door, So I asked them to leave before I called the police to have them removed"

by red-suns-driver April 10, 2007

Reddit's Witness

Someone who goes around the Internet, forcing people to go on Reddit, rather than other well known image blogs. These people usually mock those who do not use reddit, and are overall butthurt.

I was on omegle when I ran into a guy who kept on telling me to use reddit. What a butthurt Reddit's Witness

by NyanOverlord July 30, 2012

Dawkins' Witness

A person with sufficient sophistication to recognize religion as the greatest threat to human civilization, and shares this fact with others.

Dr. of Biology- Creationism is religious propaganda and only retards public education.
Random dude-You must be a "Dawkins' Witness"

by JoeyMarvelous October 22, 2008

jehovas witness'

annoying

would you like to convert to our religion. heelll naahh

by teegee August 22, 2003

Jehovah's Witness

It's when a guy blows a load in your ear.

When he was done he did a Jehovah's Witness on me and I'm still having trouble hearing out of the ear.

by TeamLondon March 7, 2010

Dead Witness

The best alternative rock band in all of North Dakota

Dead Witness will one day rule the world

by Richard Nixon January 20, 2004