chav

A humanoid drone with no intentions in life other than to go to prison, steal things from old women, and beat 4 year olds. In this episode of "Exploring Vermin", we dissect the Chav's existance.

1: Morals

A Chav is motivated not by its own brain(whether or not it has one is unknown) but rather the actions of its pack(see 2), with some of its more aggresive actions fuelled by the beatings it was given whenever it made a single noise for the first 5 years of its life. It generally aims to:

-piss off every living thing around it
-make itself look like a complete arse
-chug enough monster and red bull to make an ant be able to cross the world twice in around half an hour

2: Interactions of its kind

Chavs hunt in a small pack of 5-6 males with one or two chavettes, usually for extra dickhead motivation. The group of arseholes will then try to look hard in front of the female(s). The Chav will attack anything nearby, including small children, brick walls and postboxes, usually ending in an ASBO.

3: Sustenance

Chavs will consume anything as long as it is not healthy in any way. Chavettes notably treat vegetables as poison.

4: Friends

-none found-

5: Enemies

-cannot display, number exceeds 99999999.

6: Reproduction

Chavs and chavettes will reproduce once every few weeks, ers, a scientifically proven fact.

7: Intelligence

Ha, that's a good joke.

8: Conclusion

Both the chav and chavette need to become extinct for humanity to remain profitable.

Louis: yo blad what u bin sayin??
Kev: nothin mate juss bin wiv chantelle
Gazza: aaay fams wot ya doin
Louis: blud, wot u doin yeh?
Gazza: startin fam? STARTIN?
Louis: an whaat blud? i bang you mum
*Gazza walks off, muttering "u succh a chav blud"*

by David Attenbourough September 1, 2012

Chav

Ages can range from a minimum of 12 reaching the maximum of 30 and possibly above.Locations can range from parks to council houses to town flats.Rarely seen on there own,usually in packs as you will find they are quite useless on their own.They are unable to comply with the law and are pronouned for their bad attitudes in society.Very hard to reason with even worse to understand.Incapable of thinking for themselves,hense their codes of dress,they have to look like clones of each other.They enjoy activities such as creating spawn to carry on their cult.They are extreamly vile-mouthed that always have something petty to say also they are very argumentative.They interrigate other people and make a society look deprived.

Chav 1-"u owt 2nyt brav"
Chav 2-"yeh mayte nt got mch cash dole cme in layt"
Chav 1-"sme blad bad dat init"
Chav 2-"yh blad"

by Kirrky April 1, 2009

CHAV

A CHAV is a person who wears cheap sports wear ALL the time, a mangey cap on their head, hood up and dirty trainers with ear piercings and studs an often spitting, drinking and swearing. Very unstylish in the fashion world but much of the popluation is turning into the stereotypical 'CHAV'.

"Hey Ben look over there its a gang of CHAV s. We should cross over so we don't have to walk past them!"

"No don't worry Bernard, they try and look hard but really they are just loser 10 - 21 year olds. They have no strength but they may have weapons, just don't look them in the eye and run if they talk to you!"

by odjensoa October 24, 2008

Chav

its a british stereotype... generally a teenager or young adult, but you get chavs in their 40s too. they shop at sports shops only, and wear tracksuits everywhere. the girls scrape their hair back into a bun and slick it with gel. the girls also wear extremely large hooped earrings. both male and female chavs wear as much fake gold and fake burberry as possible. they like to chew noisily and swear their heads off. most live on council estates and often have kids in their teens. the british form of a redkneck

A: whos that chick with all the bling?

B: thats stacey, the chav.

by fireworks_yga_1996 March 6, 2010

chav

usually some fucking stinky 13 - 17 year olds that sit in alley ways and smoke dat weed innit. they also are known for drinking 35p energy drinks and they are set with a specific uniform that includes: an addidas tracksuit and jacket, nike cap and a pouch. in this pouch they store their essentials which are, quidz, weed and most importantly a rusty piece of shit they found in their stanky da's shed called a shank

bruv your mum gae and you fucken stanky go away you chav fetus cunt

by anonymous December 15, 2019

Chav

The dregs of british society alongside pikey's. Male's aspire to look like black rappers with little success and the females pathetically imitate Katie Price also with the same degree of brilliance. Try watching the film 'Harry Brown'. The only un-realistic parts are the riots and the psychotic, murderous old man.

1. I want to get the newspaper from the shop but all those fucking chav's are hanging around there.

2. Oy you little chav cunt stop harrasing that old lady!

by Jbmeestbc August 17, 2010

Chav

A British term, meaning "misplaced tracksuit".

Him's a Chav innit?

by ivegotblistasonmefingas January 7, 2011