Similar to a Fitbit around your wrist, this device goes around your waist. Every time you defecate, it will sense that you are about to excrete fecal matter and will start going to work. With its advanced detection system, this device will calculate the amount of snickers dropped in the punch bowl, total squeezes of the sphincter, and will even detect the development of hemorrhoids during the painful process of squeezing out your piping hot logs. At the end of the week, the device will send you a report of how many dumps you have taken each day. It will also recommend lifestyle changes if you are dropping the kids off at the pool too frequently throughout the week. This device is available for a price of $69.99.
Tyrant: Yo dude, my shits have been crazy lately. The tater tots I ate yesterday legit blew through me like a laxative. I bought a Shitbit to help me track how many times I shit per day and the number is astounding. On average, i shit about 4 to 5 times a day.
Big Easy: Bro you might want to see a doctor about that. It seems kinda unhealthy.
Tyrant: Nah dude, doctors are overrated. That’s why I bought a Shitbit. It recommends specific lifestyle changes and even gives you words of encouragement like Siri does sometimes.
Big Easy: Siri and I had sex once.
Big Easy: Bro you might want to see a doctor about that. It seems kinda unhealthy.
Tyrant: Nah dude, doctors are overrated. That’s why I bought a Shitbit. It recommends specific lifestyle changes and even gives you words of encouragement like Siri does sometimes.
Big Easy: Siri and I had sex once.
by Stoney69 March 6, 2019
Get the Shitbit mug.A fictional - but not unrealistic bathroom aid. When passing an abnormally large shit there should be a gum shield type device on a wall bracket or rope next to you - bite down when that mud child is making life unbearable. Can also be useful day after Halloween when half chewed nuts come out pointy like fucking glass shards.
“Man I dropped a Shamu deuce last night that would have wet the first 6 rows at seaworld. Had to bear down hard on my shitbit”
by Quagmire Ton bastardo November 14, 2019
Get the Shitbit mug.Related Words
shititis
• shititties
• Shititude
• Shititasking
• shitite
• Shititeous
• Shititism
• Shitittay
• shitity
• The Shitits
Kevin: Stephanie is SUCH a shitbitchcuntfuck!
OR
Thomas: WHAT DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY TO ME YOU SHITBITCHCUNTFUCK
OR
Thomas: WHAT DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY TO ME YOU SHITBITCHCUNTFUCK
by professional retard February 10, 2020
Get the shitbitchcuntfuck mug.by Super bugging October 17, 2020
Get the Shitatron mug.I don’t want to have to do shibittah cunt jobs for the rest of my life
What to you do for a living??
I’m a shibittah cunt grounds man
What to you do for a living??
I’m a shibittah cunt grounds man
by Glory glory south sydney October 27, 2020
Get the shibittah mug.When you almost die from shit inhalation in a porta-shitter on the side of a mountain because they don’t put a rubber mat down and you’re wearing ski boots and almost fall into the urinal...
by SkiPanda43 March 17, 2021
Get the Shitilation mug.A form of pedicure where instead of tightening up those heels and cuticles, you instead passive/aggressively rage-shit on a person's feet while looking them in the eyes and carrying on a casual conversation.
I gave Kyle a shiticure outside of the meeting yesterday after he tried to sell my ideas as his own.
I could have scolded my kids, but I went with a shiticure instead.
I could have scolded my kids, but I went with a shiticure instead.
by Masterblackout May 20, 2021
Get the Shiticure mug.