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Lotion

The thing people put on their hands to wank off with
I put lotion on my hands to wank off to my friend
by knobhead123456 February 11, 2024
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Lotionless

Adjective (derogatory)
Derived from motionless (slang).
Made to roll off the tongue when referring to someone as motionless (broke) and bitchless.
No lotion is a common expression used among hip and trendy youngsters to describe someone with ZERO maidens.

The logic behind "Lotion"/ "Lotionless" is that you use lotion to lubricate yourself when instantly gratifying your virgin needs. There was something else I was supposed to specify but this will do.
"He's got no motion, no Lotion."
"He looks Lotionless"
"Ew he's got no lotion, big L"
"They have zero lotion just like their motion"
by IAmNoOneEeeeE May 18, 2024
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Lotion

Adjective (complimentary)
Derived from motion (slang).
Made to roll off the tongue when referring to someone as having motion(money/resources) and with rizz.
Lotion is a common expression used among hip and trendy youngsters to describe someone with MANY maidens.

The logic behind "Lotion" is that you use lotion to lubricate yourself when instantly gratifying your virgin needs AND those of your many MANY MAIDENS. I'm sure I'm forgetting something LIKE THE NUMBER OF MAIDENS I HAVE BECAUSE I HAVE INFINITE LOTION. I could rub it all over myself. Lubricate myself properly... like a chad.
"He's got motion, and lotion. What a cool guy"
"He looks like he's full of lotion"
"Wow he's got all the lotion, big W"
"They have so much lotion they stole all the maidens (unlike some random fella that goes by the name of... Spidey)"
"They have so much lotion it could lubricate your entire mother"
"Look over there! Is that... Mr. Motion Lotion?! *Gasp -- Yes. It's me, Mr. Motion Lotion *Starts mewing"
by IAmNoOneEeeeE May 18, 2024
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lotion and whistles

“L plug he said this weed not even strong like I had a dream of eating a bowl of lotion and whistles
by NYC.Alex December 4, 2024
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Lotion Crouton

The crusty glob from the lotion pump that you immediately fling into the trash when getting a squirt of lotion.
Deb- hey Shannon pass me that lavender hand lotion.
Shannon- sure, just know there’s definitely some lotion crouton on that bad boy.
by anonymous February 3, 2026
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Lotioning the Mushroom

Slang for the act of rubbing one out (masturbating). Using lotion of choice.
Poor Lucus never has any luck with the ladies. So he spends most nights lotioning the mushroom (masturbating) while watching porn.
by Hue G Wang November 17, 2025
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Throat Lotion Dispenser

A femal or in some cases a male who who loves giving fellatio and ingesting seminal fluid on a constant.
Man, all this jacking off and using spankerchefs is getting old... I need to hook up with a good THROAT LOTION DISPENSER. "... or ... " MY Wife, a TROOPER?! No no NO, The way she throats a cock and sucks it with such ferocity, she is a true, bonified THROAT LOTION DISPENSER!!!
by Mr. KSZ March 20, 2011
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