Schrodinger's Lawyer

A lawkeeper who decides whether they're client should plead guilty based on the verdict of the jury

Jury: *Whispering* Yeah, he's probably guilty

Schrodinger's Lawyer: Nows your chance!

Client: I plead guilty to the first degree murder of a family of 4

Jury: Oh, we were going to say he's not guilty, but whatever

Client: Aaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Schrodinger's Lawyer: Oops

by KorokDude August 25, 2023

lawyer dogged

when the law twists a suspects words in order to deny criminal rights; refers to a court decision made in New Orleans after a suspect asked for a "lawyer, dawg" the motion to give the man a lawyer was denied due to ambiguous wording as it was argued he could've been asking for a dog that was a lawyer

Be clear and concise when invoking your rights as a suspect to police, otherwise you could get lawyer dogged

by hedonism-bot June 5, 2023

Lawyer

A necessary evil to society; one who profits off of the complication of laws while also actively trying to make laws more complicated to raise their salary.

Client: “So, can I get a divorce?”
Lawyer: “You see, Title Code XVIII claims…”

*bills client $23k per hour*

by Cyptor January 31, 2022

the vegas lawyers

A kick ass law criminal defense firm with crazy marketing.

Busted in Vegas? Call The Vegas Lawyers!

by Hi 5ive February 18, 2019

Gay Lawyer

It is a friend of Pradyut Nair prestige shantiniketan 13133 [phone]

He is Gay Lawyer.

by stephenkumar October 12, 2020

lawyers library

The toilet, but only when your pooping.

Mr. V, I’m stepping away from my desk, I have to go to the lawyers library. I’ll be back in 10.

by Bobs Murders October 2, 2023

Lawyer Hands

If someone says you have Lawyer Hands it means you're not a handy man.
You have soft hands, like a girl. Not rough hands, like a working man, that fixes things around the house.
You most likely play video games all day and can't even build a lego set.

Foo 1: we need help with this flat tire, call Edgar!
Foo 2: nah that bitch got lawyer hands, he probably doesn't even know what a jack is!

Foo 1: this Foo!
Foo 2: this Foo!

by fernvndooo August 14, 2022