...I did something

The noise you hear before your friend is about to tell you that they zip tied their two big toes together.

Phone rings:
Friend 1: Hey what's up, you never call me?

Friend 2: ...I did something

Friend 1: Damn it, not again. Are you at least near scissors this time?

Friend 2: well um... funny story, I was going on a hike in the woods and I found a zip tie in my bag...

Friend 1: so what you're saying is you're in the middle of the woods alone with your big toes zip tied together?

Friend 2: Uhm... yeah pretty much...

Friend 1: (bursts out laughing) Well have fun with that, this is gonna be a fun story to tell my parents (hangs up)

Friend 2: Wait what do you mean tell your parents? Hello? Don't leave me here.

by IDK1234583 July 9, 2024

I did what I thought what right

And where you RIGHT to do that... Or where you WORNG? OH, NO. I KNOW. I know you're a woman so you don't understand what WRONG is or what BEING WRONG feels like but it LOOKS something like this:

A wrong person "I did what I thought what right 🥺"

Hym "THAT'S WHAT BEING WRONG LOOKS LIKE! ☝️ THAT RIGHT THERE! WRONG! BAD!"

by Hym Iam March 23, 2024

i did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake

i didnt do it

Dave: Did you run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake?

BOB:I did not run that family of four over with my car on the 15 of october 2023 at 3pm before dumping their bodies in the nearby lake

by chimp that can talk December 18, 2024

I Did Not Need A Suppository

.

I Did Not Need A Suppository

by Angel234IsTheDarkSeraphim March 17, 2025

Much I Did The Thing You Like To Do So Much

Much I Did The Thing You Like To Do So Much

Much I Did The Thing You Like To Do So Much

by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e March 26, 2025

I Did The Maliciosos Things To Consolidate My Own Digital Footprint To Strip Everyone Of Immortality, Sincerity, Annoyance, And Sexuality For Fun

I Did The Maliciosos Things To Consolidate My Own Digital Footprint To Strip Everyone Of Immortality, Sincerity, Annoyance, And Sexuality For Fun

I Did The Maliciosos Things To Consolidate My Own Digital Footprint To Strip Everyone Of Immortality, Sincerity, Annoyance, And Sexuality For Fun

by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e March 26, 2025

I did an Ellis

To fuck up something just before the end when you're winning, then your not.

I pulled a really hot bird last night. Just before I snagged her, I did an Ellis and came in my pants

by Possumkiller August 21, 2025