crumpet dodger

A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.

"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"

by Joni-K July 6, 2016

Crumpet ring

An anal stretching ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."

by lemlemlem May 11, 2018

Crumpet

Word to describe/classify your stereotypical British fucks, who are incredibly annoying, narcissistic, and like to kiss ass. They're the type of people to eat incredibly flavorless food like un-buttered stale crumpets or scones that just tastes like flour, living up to the stereotype that white people have flavorless food. They also use incredibly annoying vocabulary and like to pick on other people a lot. A disgrace to the entire British nation.

Example:

A: Hey did hear what Elizabeth said in class?
B: I know she's such a fucking scone.

Or..

A: THIS FUCKING CRUMPET KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE
B: I have a fair share of scones in my class too don't worry about it...

by greasy krispey and sexy May 24, 2018

Crumpet crippler

The act of shitting out the digested remains of a crumpet, placing it on one’s hand, and slapping one in the genitals until they orgasm uncontrollably leaving them paralysed.

Steve, I’m horny. Give me a crumpet crippler.

by Scousebirdcoleen October 10, 2019

Crumpet

The art of falling asleep when you have a obligation, like to do a destiny 2 raid or schoolwork

Hey man I totally just pulled a crumpet in my statistics class

by liTTLEMAN545 November 21, 2019

Crumpet

1)Sammyd
2) a person of little or no practical importance

That dumb fucking crumpet

by ThomasM65 December 31, 2019

Crumpet

Sexual orientation
Food

Pass me a crumpet

I identify as a crumpet

by Tom whithout a k June 17, 2020