Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets

"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"

by Yllom.gollom February 04, 2016

Crumpets and tea

Crumpets and tea is a British food, usually eaten for breakfast or afternoon paired with tea often. It is made from flour, milk or water and yeast.

Friend 1: Hey bruv you wanna come over and have some crumpets and tea mate?

Friend 2: what kind of bloody question is that? Of course I do!

by sex minister April 27, 2022

crumpet burner

Someone who makes it their main purpose to ruin the fun for everyone else.

Look at that crumpet burner pop that kids balloon

by Toshir0z January 13, 2015

buttery crumpet

When you slab that butter on the crumpet and it melts all the way through to the plate.

That was such a buttery crumpet I licked the plate afterwards.

by August 18, 2022

rubbish crumpet

Pseudo-british term for the anus, especially in the context of Anilingus.

My dear would you be so kind as to allow lingual stimulation of your rubbish crumpet?

by hbright December 19, 2024

swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.

A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..

by gizemtheDJ January 08, 2025

Protest Crumpet

Typically a late night snack undertaken just because you can and to no one is around to stop you. Alternatively it may refer to your partner refusing a Buttered Crumpet.

Just got warm in bed when I needed to wee so went to make a hot water bottle because I was freezing and now made Protest Crumpets because I needed them for the affront of standing in the cold kitchen.

by Myersrum February 15, 2022