Military Alarm Clock

Walking into someone's room while they're sleeping with a frying pan in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other hand and proceeding to bang them together whilst inside the room.

#1: Hey bro you look tired.
#2: Yeah. My sister gave me a military alarm clock this morning.

by bossofpiza November 22, 2016

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024

alarm clock charger

a alarm clock that charges your phone.

I don't use a normal charger I use a alarm clock charger.

by joyful coffee June 30, 2023

scottish alarm clock

When you wake up before your partner and you give them head till they wake up.

My wife was asleep till I performed the Scottish alarm clock on her.

by Sandolorian December 12, 2021

alarm clock

A demonic thing that deprives you of what's rightfully yours. A.k.a. sleep

SHUT THAT FUCKING ALARM CLOCK OFF!!

by nigg er face March 18, 2015

Ostrich alarm clock

when the alarm goes off, it’s ostrich time.

hey is it ostrich time yet?

nope, my ostrich alarm clock hasn’t gone off yet.

by ostrichforthewin February 6, 2019