Wash my turtle 

Wash my turtle is used by someone ironically saying that he has a lot of important things to do.

I can't go out today.I have to wash my turtle.

Wash my turtle by Fotindigo January 25, 2019

punch the turtle 

To attempt something that does have a small chance of success - but will likely end in failure and pain.

Did you hear how Josh and Christel are trying to create new slang? They're trying to punch the turtle with that...

punch the turtle by JBonesMcGee March 30, 2019

Bohemian Snapping Turtle 

A shot of Blue Curaçao and Melon liqueur

I’ll have a beer and a Bohemian Snapping turtle

Bohemian Snapping Turtle by Raphael De la Dictionary June 23, 2019

hit the turtle on the head

Lowering one’s guard and then striking when least expected.

Robert formed rapport by making himself a clown and then hit the turtle on the head to got the promotion.

hit the turtle on the head by Saravanan599 August 20, 2019

Pettin’ the Turtle 

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

Pettin’ the Turtle by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

holy yeet turtle 

means you yeet a turtle

epic

"HOLY YEET TURTLE"

holy yeet turtle by ventron500 November 22, 2019

Kiss the turtle 

Pushing out a turd when receiving a rim job, so your partner gets a mouth full of poo.

Made Emily kiss the turtle last night.

She broke up with you, didn't she?

Yup.

Kiss the turtle by Shuaman April 21, 2020