shit handed

The result of seated ass wiping, especially when combined with a crumpling paper strategy, as opposed to the equally popular fold, wipe and release or civilised method. Wiping done seated with a tilt and using the crumple method is dangerous, unsteady and frowned upon. Thus, it often results in shit residue reaching the hand, fingers, or cuff.

My loud ass boss came into the bathroom to piss and moan, so i hunkered and opted for the seated wipe and crumpling of paper so as not to draw his attention. While leaning to my left i momentarily lost my balance and bearings and inadvertently shit handed myself. I was not pleased, as i had recently eaten corn.

by mstephenfeeley December 26, 2007

shit shocker

When you Take a shit and look at it and are baffolded how it crawled out your sphinkter.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
....WHEH, im glad thats over
(looking down)
What the shit is that!!!!
Is that possible???
ITS A SHIT SHOCKER!!!!!

by The Andy Man 55 March 13, 2008

Shit Shaft

Is another name for a Poop Chute or ones Anus. Often heard being muttered by Sandy or Paddy G in conversations with 'innocent' Birds around from the night before. Also commonly used when reaching in 20+ knots of wind, in fireflies, while in a winning 1,2 position in team racing on Dublin Bay.

Man I just dropped a load through my Shit Shaft. I fucced that bird in the shit shaft last night

by G Spot Ucc February 5, 2009

Shit-Baby

A shit-baby occurs when you get backed up for days. Let's just say that sometimes people need some fiber/activia/laxative etc. When you get backed up for days the belly starts to protrude and people my think you are pregnant because of the rounded stomach.

Girl 1: Hey girl are you pregnant?
Girl 2: Nah, I just haven't pooped for 3 weeks.
Girl 1: Oh I see. You have a shit-baby.
Girl 2: Well yes I do.

by McJoselyn March 14, 2009

Shit Knocker

AKA: some who talks shit. a person who lies and knocks it around

"Did you hear that dude at lunch, he's such a Shit Knocker"

by KayleKaleidoscope May 20, 2009

shit out my balls

A phrase used to express frustration.

Shit out my balls. I woke up with a dildo in my ass again.

by MSHUAH July 4, 2009

Shit volcano

May be used to describe a person or object that spews out excesses of crap in verbal or physical form.

Word derives from a combination of the relatively harmless cuss shit and volcano; which until just recently wasn't considered quite as negative a word as it currently is (post Icelandic volcano ash cloud malarkey).

Carl is such a shit volcano.

by Shitvafjökul July 7, 2010