Trail Bidet

When you shit on the trail and your buddy squirts beer up your ass to clean in up.

I had no toilet paper on the trail and had to dump so buddy gave me a trail bidet.

by skidooboyspoopin December 17, 2024

Human Bidet

the human Bidet can be done solo, with two people, and even with a group. a solo human Bidet is when you take a shit and you pee while still sitting down and it rolls down your nut and taint and cleans your bum. the human Bidet with a partner is the same, but one person gets up and the other pisses on their bumhole, this one is much more effective. the group human Bidet is the same but with a bunch of people pissing on the poopers bumhole, this is the most effective variant.

"dear diary, today I shitted and ran out of kittens to wipe with, but thankfully I peed and it was a human Bidet, so it was ok in the end"

"hey playbou carti can you give me some human Bidet"

"precinct 6 get to hemorrhoid street ASAP, there's a guy here who needs some group human Bidet"

by clogmethroatwithshitmrdiddy August 3, 2024

Bidet-ing

The act of using your mouth as a fountain to clean someone’s asshole

Hey babe, we’re out of toilet paper and I could really use a good bidet-ing right now

by Jack Smashers April 26, 2020

Sheffield bidet

The act of washing one’s arse in a puddle after taking a shit outside.

Ashley did a Sheffield bidet after shitting in a car park.

by Mrs Miggins September 10, 2024

Muddy Bidet

When you drop a fast heavy deuce and the toilet water splashes up into your ass crack.

I was so glad I found a clean restroom but the muddy bidet ruined it for me.

by Toooldforthis July 27, 2022

Appalachian bidet

When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.

“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”

by Loganjaman August 16, 2023

bachelor bidet

When someone uses a shower as a bidet when there is no toilet paper available or someone is too lazy to buy toilet paper.

I ran out of toilet paper, so I jumped in the bachelor bidet to clean myself.

by Micro Mage March 13, 2020