Schrödinger's Gay Man

A general theory of relativity behind the sexual attraction of every man. It states that every man is in a constant state of quantum superposition between gay and straight, being 50% gay and 50% straight. As such, they will never be sure of their own sexual attraction until they kiss a man, effectively opening the box and forcing their sexuality to fall into one of the two realities, revealing whether they are gay or straight.

Bro 1:"Bro, I just kissed a dude, turns out I'm gay!"
Bro 2: "Looks like Schrödinger's Gay Man takes another."

by Onesquawkyboi August 4, 2023

Schrödinger's Nice Guy

Someone who acts nice until they get rejected, then acts like they deserve whatever they want

Mike: Haha, that's so funny. Um would you want to go out sometime?
Emily: Sorry no I do not really want to
Mike: Fuck you whore I hope you die in a fire. I'm so nice to you and you dont even want to go out with me once. What a bitch.
Emily: Gee a real Schrödinger's Nice Guy there.

by NiceGuysEatBalls April 5, 2021

Schrödinger's Ape Paradox

Apes that are simultaneously retarded and highly informed.

I guess all their fancy quantum physics models failed to solve the Schrödinger's Ape paradox.

Turns out that Apes are simultaneously retarded and highly-informed, resulting in Kenny having to quantum oscillate deez nuts.

by TrueBananaMonkey November 19, 2021

Schrödinger’s Douchebag

When you are both dead inside from the jokes you tell but feel alive when you laugh at them.

Metahumor is filled with people like you, Schrödinger’s Douchebag. More like show me your dönger. JK.

by Denuncerò January 4, 2021

schrödinger's fat-shame

You go up to someone who looks pregnant, but you aren't really sure, and you ask them "How's the baby coming along?" There's a 50/50 chance of them actually being pregnant.

I just schrödinger's fat-shamed that person over there and they slapped me across the face

by d e f i n i t e November 14, 2021

Schrödinger's Three Way

1) A sexual position with a single partner where visual and auditory stimuli are temporarily deadened. At that point in time one is in a superposition where penetration is occurring in all orifices simultaneous. Upon the return of auditory and visual stimuli, the wave form collapses and only one orifice is being penetrated.

2) A Ménage à trois (Three-Way) with a temporary removal of audio an d visual stimuli. Requires penetration. Upon the removal of audio and visual stimuli one partner is simultaneously penetrating the two other partners until the return of the audio and visual stimuli. At that point, the wave form collapses and only one partner is chosen for penetration.

1) "I had the most amazing time last night. My girlfriend put earplugs on me then we started having sex. Right when I was about to finish she put a blind fold on me and I felt like I experienced Schrödinger's Three Way!"

2) "So the three of us were having sex last night. I covered my ears and turned of the lights. I was in the middle of a Schrödinger's Three Way!"

by Dr. Whom November 9, 2012

Schrödinger's Douchebag

"EcoGoth" do we know eachother?

1. Most likely a bomb squad member that lives unusally far away soley to work with her squad; yet wants to care about a non hostile work environment with no unconsented "thought-experiments"
2. That one passive aggressive supervisor?

1. Quarterback: Yo heads up!

Schrödinger's Douchebag: gives the nod and repeats the same motion till the reciver makes a completion!

2. Thattl be about tree fiddy.

by FromStatefarm December 27, 2020