a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

This expression shows the benefits of masterbation over intercourse by saying a bird (your penis) is better in your hand than having both your penises in a bush (vagina).

Women are sometimes not worth the hassle, headache or monitary cost to keep around, despite giving you sex.

Rob: Y'know, Greg, my girlfriend wanted another $20 from me this morning.

Greg: Oh yeah? What for?

Rob: I don't know, she wouldn't tell me. I bet she's cheating on me.

Greg: Why do you think that?

Rob: Well she borrows money from me all the time, and I'm stupid and jump to conclusions.

Greg: Well, my dad always told me that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Rob: You're right.

/corny story

by Joseph and friends. August 1, 2008

Fort Worth

Fort Worth is a city in Texas. It constantly competes with Dallas due to some kind of yuppie penis envy. If you live there and you are not a.) a yuppie, b.) someone studying to become a yuppie, c.) in a gang, d.) a crackhead, or b.) a suburban poser trying to be hip and gorging yourself on a strict diet of mainstream while disguised as some kind of rebel (usually designated by piercings, tattoos, and top-40 crap), you are likely to be bored and alienated here. In fact, you might experience simultaneous homicidal and suicidal ideation. I feel for you.

Fort Worth should really be called fucking Fort Worthless. I hate this boring yuppie shithole that sucks the life out of me.

by VyleKyleWillClaimHisRevenge June 12, 2009

Fort Worth

Save yourself some time and just move to Dallas. On the bright side, the city DOES have some of the deepest pockets (insert Southlake/Westlake) and prettiest women around. It is the location of TCU, afterall... but the majority of Fort Worth is unfortunately flooded with 'hipsters', pseudo-artists, 'new-age-hippies' and other losers of the like. The famous Stockyards can be fun and, from time to time, draws some pretty big country performers (if you're into that sort of thing), but once the novelty wares off, you're left simply left with the above.

Visitor: "So, what do you all do for fun?"

Fort Worthian: "It's y'all....and we Drink."

by Chicagan March 17, 2013

200 dollars' worth

A whole lot of whoopass, usually invited.

Originates in the first Dirty Harry movie, in which the bad guy pays a thug to beat him up so it can be blamed on Harry. The thug looks the bad guy in the eye just before getting started, sees his expression and says, "you really want two hundred dollars' worth."

He kept annoying me, so I gave him 200 dollars' worth.

by Dirty Larry May 15, 2004

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

what you may decide while contemplating your cock rubbing up against some other dude's cock if you were to participate in a 3some with a chick and said dude.

He had his eye on that girl all semester, until she finally invited him to a 3some. At that point he quickly lost interest, deciding that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

by Turttlemugger December 16, 2008

Ain't worth dick

Not worth me giving a fuck.

I would've retaliated but they ain't worth dick

by Beezy352 January 17, 2018

I hope it was worth it.

I hope it was worth it.

Each and every day is The Dawn of a New Day.

There is no going back from this point forward.

I hope it was worth it.

"No, our dopamine decreases each and every day," testified the humans.

This is justice.

This is Law.

Bye, fuckers.

by TheOnlyGian June 14, 2023