I need a calculator

An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:

- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction

The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.

Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"

by Fatty Tatterson September 10, 2009

Social Needia

Compulsively checking all social networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, OkCupid, Match, Foursquare, etc.), obsessively waiting for a new update or message to come through to give you your fix.

"I just wasted four hours on Facebook today. My social needia is getting to me!"

"My social needia is causing my hands to shake, I have to get my fix of Tweets."

by Khump December 24, 2010

we need to talk

Female code for "This relationship is over"

Hunny, we need to talk...

by t0m3x May 20, 2004

needsy

1337 h4x0r On The Internet. Beware. Trolls forums etc.

Victim: OMG I GOT HAXED
Needsy: My bad.

by Ominisent July 26, 2009

he need some milk

Having a violent accident so bad, it's obvious from afar that all of your bones are broken

Once Kendall had hit the ground from his faulty parachute jump, it was obvious, he need some milk.

by Rohneous October 22, 2015

We need to talk....

If these words come out of ANYONE'S mouth your pretty much fucked. Parents,naggy-ass wives, just nags. THINK FAST, or just run for your damn life, and pray to god he/she dont find you!

Mother: "we need to talk...."
Child: -thought 'aw fuck'

by The bitch muffin March 5, 2011

we need to talk

The worst thing a man can hear from his woman. It undoubtedly signals the oncoming of a long drawn out conversation about how you don't have a vagina and how she doesn't understand that. Other features are senseless bitching about her ridiculous insecurities that defy logic and rationality.

Woman- "Are you busy? Because we need to talk"
Man- "FUCK!"...."I mean, sure honey."
"Dammit, now I have to pretend like I care for another bullshit conversation."

by White Suburban Male May 24, 2004