Zoo Keeper

If this is a simulation, zookeepers are the agents in the matrix. They keep you in a cage, complacent with the scraps you're given, deterring you from discovering your true self.

Zoo keepers are keeping us wrapped up in the matrix.

by Darwin800 August 16, 2024

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Devils gate keeper

The Devils Gate Keeper: This is the cross between constipation and sketchy food decisions. You are alerted to this phenomenon by gut wrenching twisting pain in your lower abdomen. The kind of pain that makes you want to curl up in a ball and die. This pain is usually associated with the explosive diarrhea which follows a long night of light beer and Taco Bell. The difference is once you finally crawl to the toilet because it hurts too much to stand, you are not greeted with violent relief. Instead the pain continues as you strain and push with the force to cause a brain hemorrhage until you are finally able to pop the cork of despair. Once this happens you almost die as you feel your soul exit your body via your ass.

So I’m a little bit dehydrated and had ten day old leftover chicken gumbo for lunch yesterday, which caused me to battle the devils gate keeper this morning.

by Pedro11111 April 11, 2019

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Watch Keeper

A term for an abandoned sexual partner.

The situation usually occurs whilst one is heavily intoxicated. As the moment of intercourse nears, one has a sudden reckoning, caused by realisation of the potential partners appearance, weight or hygiene situation - and abandons the encounter with haste.

The speed of the exit means their watch will be left behind, and makes retrieval of the watch unlikely.

The Watch Keeper may keep the watch as a memento or dispose of it.

Ricky went home with another watch keeper last night

by Rick Lame November 18, 2023

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