common law fiance

When a couple has been "dating" for such a long time that they are on an inevitable path to marriage, the participants in the relationship become common law fiancés, even if no formal commitment to get married has been made. Often, the involved parties deny this de facto status, frequently out of fear of commitment or embarrassment over not taking their relationship to the next level. However, they usually conduct themselves like a typical engaged couple (e.g., sharing holidays with both sets of families, etc.)

Aaron: hey, is your fiance coming to dinner with us?
Mike: no, my girlfriend cannot make dinner tonight
Aaron: she is so your common law fiance...you guys have been together for more than 6 years!

by truthteller2 November 15, 2012

inverse wrights law

The Inverse wrights law; for every 50% reduction in vehicle sales costs go up 15%

Acceleration of the death of vehicle OEMs due to the Inverse wrights law. For instance if their sales drop by 50% their cost to go up 15% and if their gross margin was originally 20% it would drop to 5% assuming they could not increase their pricing.

by Trentism January 16, 2022

Crawford’s 1st law

Crawford’s 1st law: A man should never date a woman who wears larger panties than he does.

Dan, you can’t date that girl because her panties are XL, yours are only M. That is Crawford’s 1st law.

by Dan 4250 March 27, 2019

the law of dangling cords

Whenever you have something dangling from your body or carrying some type of cords, rope, line, string, wire, etc, as your crawl, walk, or run just about anywhere with it, the dangling cord has a tendency to get caught or wrapped around another object.

As I took the DVD player to the living room, the cord got wrapped around the bathroom door. I should have been aware of the law of dangling cords while transporting the DVD player.

by dreamquestone January 30, 2022

Turd Law of Relativity

The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.

Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."

by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013

The Law Of Maximum Misery

States that one should always be aware of their surroundings in order to prepare for the worst.

Billy is very careful and is driving a car. Therefore he suspects that a car filled with very noisy (and apparently drunk) teenagers would get into a wreck. So Billy turns unto a different street in order to avoid any other complications. So he is abiding to the rules of The Law Of Maximum Misery.

by Koachilion March 18, 2007

Garland’s Law of Toilets

(1) In a bathroom, the least used and cleanest toilet will be the one that the eye travels to last.

(2) The cleanest toilet will never be the stall closest to the door, nor the one furthest from it, unless it is a stall handicap.

(3) The higher in elevation, the cleaner and less used the toilet.

“Bro, I can’t find a clean bathroom on campus...”

“Dude, just follow Garland’s Law of Toilets, the cleanest one is the third stall in the fourth floor library bathroom.”

by Dr. Toilet, Ph.D March 3, 2020