Turtle poaching

When you punch someone who has a small penis in the dick making there head shrivel like a turtle.

Payton: i got turtle poached by some guy yesterday
thomas: omg is yo dick okay i hate turtle poaching

by Arnold mcjagger May 31, 2013

Laundry turtle

Noun. When you fill a laundry basket way over the top, then drape a towel over the pile and tuck it into the sides of the basket so nothing will fall out while carrying. The result resembles a turtle shell, and sometimes it will have little 'legs' of laundry items sticking out of holes in the basket.

I waited too long to do laundry, now im definitely gonna have to make a laundry turtle

by ¡El Fantazzzzma Blancoooooooo! July 23, 2024

Snapping turtle

Sex position, involves having sex with only the protruding head of a turtle (usually of the snapping variety). Bonus points if the shell vibrates.

Abby: Dude why are you bleeding like that

Kate: I tried the snapping turtle at the lake and it didn’t go well

by Lakelesbos69 August 31, 2021

Snapping Turtle

A clamp or clip tightened around the testicles.

Mike: No way! John has a Snapping Turtle!
John: What the fuck is that?

by RuggerBuggerBuggyBumpers August 31, 2023

turtle choker

A plastic straw

Her: Ugh... you're using a turtle choker?!
Me: Yeah, thot

by Tree Mugger November 17, 2019

Turtle Machine

A machine that displays or creates turtles, see computer

"Hey man, have you seen that new turtle pic?"
"Not yet, haven't been on the Turtle Machine all day"

"Did you know some turtles are brown?"
"You're wrong, I asked the Turtle Machine and the brown ones are called "tortoise"
"Turtle Machine broke"

by Jeffi June 16, 2018

Holy shit is that a turtle

Also known as H.S.I.T.A.T.

It is what goes through people's minds when they see a turtle or somebody with the last name Davis.

"Holy shit is that a turtle" said Eli before he broke up with the girl he was with someone.

by Almost heaven December 27, 2019