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shit monkey

An expletive used the same way as shit, but it's more fun to say.
Shit monkey! I burned my arm on the curling iron.
by KrW September 23, 2005
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Da Monkey

An STD like "HIV" "the clap" "drippy dick" and other STD's you dont want to get.

Da Monkey is bad s#it so stay away from them guy/girls that have it!!
It burns when i pee i think i got DA MONKEY!!!!

Yo homie dont hit that joint that shawty has DA MONKEY!!!

Come on doc dont tell me i got DA MONKEY!!!
by CJthaDJ June 12, 2008
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Monkey Truffle

After a night on the razz and acquiring a set of beer goggles, you pull a right munter and take her back to yours for a damn good seeing to.

Clothes come off and before you know it she's gobbling away. She asks for a bit of oral anal rimming, and due to wanting to get rid of the taste of the digusting Chicken Vindaloo you had on the way back, you agree.

On parting her arse crack you are greeted by an incredibly hairy arse crack (she is probably of Germanic origin) and she has a severe case of Piles and her hole has ballooned to look like a large truffle!
Christer bent the scank, which he pulled earlier that night, over the table to give her some rimming only to be greeted by a Monkey truffle.

Not wanting to ruin his chances of later action, he just pushed it all back inside and had a good slurp anyway.
by Waterboy8535 June 19, 2009
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monkey text

Random words or text, as if written by monkeys banging on typewriters.
The text message you sent me was just monkey text.
by Loadmaster March 31, 2010
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Monkey Pumper

one who masturbates; one who jerks off; one who chokes one's chicken; one who strokes one's cork while massaging one's grapes
Employee1: Man, why is the boss such a jerk?!
Employee2: Ah, don't worry dude, he's just busin' your balls cause he's a monkey pumper.
by Drjerkle September 22, 2009
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Dock monkey

Lubbers who hang around docks, leave dock lines uncoiled, get dock splinters from walking barefoot, fall off docks when drunk, or generally don't know how to act on a dock. Arrrrrrrr.
Gilligan would be a dock monkey if the Island had a dock
by Quahog 1 October 29, 2009
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Monkey Dunking

An act of having sex, whether it be intercourse or any other sexual contact, underneath covers, with other people in the presence of the situation.
Guy 1: "Man look I think they are having sex under there"

Guy 2:"Yeah, they are monkey dunking hardcore"
by Tifa Lynn November 30, 2009
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