Get Out Of Hell Free Card

In the world of born-again Christianity, a get-out-of-hell-free-card is a lame excuse an evangelical will use to justify or sugarcoat their shortcomings in order to keep up the illusion that they are still morally, intellectually and consciously superior to all the non-believing secularists. Oftentimes these lame excuses come in the form of Bible verses or paraphrased Bible quotes, but sometimes they will just comletely make shit up. One of the most popular get-out-of-hell-free-cards is the saying: "We err because we're human, but we constantly strive to be perfect like Jesus in every way." A more crazy rationalization for bad behavior is the accusation, "How can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of God, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over His ignorance?"

Linda: Teens should wait until they're married before having sex.

Greg: At what age did you lose your virginity?

Linda: If you must know, I was 12. But that doesn't make it okay. We err because we're human, but being a Christian means that we constantly strive to be like Jesus in every way. Just because I sinned doesn't mean you have to also.

Greg: Wow, it sounds like she just used her get out of hell free card.

- - -

Bob: Woah, Georgie. You totally missed that grazing buck with your AK-47 and just killed that entire wedding party!

Georgie: How can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of God, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over His ignorance?

Bob: Uh, yeah. I think your get out of hell free card is expired.

by Tim Gay July 31, 2009

you're going to hell in a hand basket

Not merely "going to hell", but going to hell easily and rapidly; beyond hope.

Now you've REALLY gone and done it; you're going to hell in a hand basket.

by voiceofgod February 12, 2006

your mother cooks socks in hell

A variation of the classic "Your mother sucks cocks in hell" line from the excorcist that is said to children. A possible spoonerism.

The power of rice crumples you!

by Kung-Fu Jesus July 21, 2004

GO DIE IN A FIERY PIT OF HELL

A term used when you gets pissed off at another person. It can also be determined as what you say when you horribly lose at your game.

(Its a beautiful day in tilted towers and there is a john wick in Trump tower) As john wick lurks in trump tower(He is at 50 HP).He is approached by a wild savage default and gets headshot for 69 damage.The young 8 year old boy who used his moms credit card and was playing john wick says "GO DIE IN A FIERY PIT OF HELL" and throws controller out the window and lands on that B*tch emily's cat.

by Your boy skinny bry bry January 2, 2019

Go ride on the head of a unicorn to hell

A way to express dissatisfaction with someone. To tell someone you do not care what they do from now on.

Boss: "Your fired!"
Employee: "Oh yea? Well, you can go ride on the head of a unicorn to hell, for all I care! I quit!"

by slackalacka September 16, 2010

Get Out of Hell Free card

The "Get Out of Hell Free" card is a commercial parody of the MONOPOLY "Get Out of Jail Free" card, created by a columnist after a reader told him he "was going to hell" for a story he wrote. Well over 1 million of the cards have been sold since its inception. "Get Out of Hell Free" is a federally registered trademark.

The waitress was being harassed by customers, so I gave her a Get Out of Hell Free card. Really made her day!

by GOOHFy September 23, 2009

cold glass of shut the hell up

Something you serve to people who talk shit. Sometimes it is something you serve before a can of whup or whoop ass(which ever you prefer.)

You talk a lot of shit, how about a nice cold glass of shut the hell up. If you keep it, I'll open up a can of whoop ass.

by gregg francois June 11, 2006