Traffiction is a fabricated or embellished story detailing a chaotic scene of gridlock conceived and delivered in an effort to explain one’s tardiness or absence from work / a party / your wedding / etc.
Good things to reference when telling a traffictional story:
1. Man on fire (include details like, “waving his arms wildly”)
2. Godzilla
3. Broken-down bus of cheerleaders
4. Volcanic eruption
5. Scene from Armageddon (just don’t mention Bruce Willis)
6. Sanjaya
Good things to reference when telling a traffictional story:
1. Man on fire (include details like, “waving his arms wildly”)
2. Godzilla
3. Broken-down bus of cheerleaders
4. Volcanic eruption
5. Scene from Armageddon (just don’t mention Bruce Willis)
6. Sanjaya
Example of traffiction:
Wow, I know I’m late, but there was the most incredible accident on the Beltway that tied me up for hours! I was moving along making great time, when up ahead I could just make out a cow wandering onto the highway. I guess the tractor trailer ahead of me didn’t see it –he must have been going at least 80 mph. The explosive impact had cars screeching to a halt and ended in a massive pileup. I was able to stop in time, but it still took the workers and clean-up crew several hours to carve a path through the cars and meat. As I finally passed by the (now totaled) tractor trailer, I noticed the mangled Chick-fil-a logo…irony can be so cruel. So, anyway…did I miss the birth of our son?
Wow, I know I’m late, but there was the most incredible accident on the Beltway that tied me up for hours! I was moving along making great time, when up ahead I could just make out a cow wandering onto the highway. I guess the tractor trailer ahead of me didn’t see it –he must have been going at least 80 mph. The explosive impact had cars screeching to a halt and ended in a massive pileup. I was able to stop in time, but it still took the workers and clean-up crew several hours to carve a path through the cars and meat. As I finally passed by the (now totaled) tractor trailer, I noticed the mangled Chick-fil-a logo…irony can be so cruel. So, anyway…did I miss the birth of our son?
by Trevor Browne December 28, 2008
Get the traffiction mug.The art of rummaging around in a ones nostril for a tasty treat. A complete lack of shame and decorum means that this can be done at any time and in any place regardless of who might be watching.
by The Truffel Chaser June 28, 2012
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the movement of something. Could be cars, drugs, people for sex, ushually something illegal and something you should not do.
by ppy_luv July 2, 2008
Get the traffic mug.akin to how a pig truffles in the forest for the famously hard to find truffle mushroom, "ass-truffling" is the act of snorfling around in the drawers of your lover looking for dingle berry gifts to sniff and chew.
Your average ass-truffler will make grunting noises followed by squeals of delight when treasures are unearthed.
Your average ass-truffler will make grunting noises followed by squeals of delight when treasures are unearthed.
*ew ew ew* *get away get away get away* help meeee, this guy I brought home from the bar is ass-truffling meeeeeeeeee!!!!
*smacks him unconscious*
*smacks him unconscious*
by hello world champion April 7, 2011
Get the ass-truffling mug.Beware the triffids... they grow... know... walk... talk... stalk... and kill!
Triffids take over the world! From the greatest science-fiction novel of all time!
Man eating plants! Spine chilling terror!
The triffids are coming! The triffids are growing! The triffids are killing!
Triffids take over the world! From the greatest science-fiction novel of all time!
Man eating plants! Spine chilling terror!
The triffids are coming! The triffids are growing! The triffids are killing!
by Triffid June 24, 2005
Get the triffid mug.When a woman pulls out her used tampon and shoves it up her ass until she shits it out into someone's mouth
by bonerQ September 28, 2009
Get the Strawberry Truffle mug.When two or more blunts rotate around a circle at different speeds, eventually causing a blunt to "Traffic Jam" behind the other blunt(s).
by Dr. Julius Erving December 2, 2010
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