The balls clause

Some may believe in the Big Bang, or God, in the same facet, the balls clause states everything in turn, goes back to balls.

“Hey Joey did you read the balls clause?”
“No what did it say?”
“I came to the conclusion; balls”

by The_see-er September 4, 2021

Lawson's clause

Lawson's clause is a modern adaptation to the traditionally established rule of dating (see "Half your age plus seven") regarding the socially acceptable age difference between couples in a relationship. Lawson's clause stipulates that, when there is an exorbitant amount of money or net worth involved with one of the parties, then the resulting age determined by the established formula is then modified. The resulting acceptable age will be multiplied by zero, and 18 will then added.
For example: a 48 year-old man can date a 31 year-old woman without social scrutiny (48/2=24+7=31). However, if the man is stinking rich, we then divide answer by zero, and add 18 (31x0=0+18=18). Thus, a very wealthy 48 year-old man can date an 18 year-old woman without scrutiny. This works both ways as well, male or female (see Demi Moore).

Q: Bill Belichick is dating a 24 year old? He's like 72... isn't that inappropriate?
A: But he's so stinking rich! Lawson's clause grants him an exemption.

by Muslim Goat February 21, 2025

The Coyote Clause

The Coyote Clause is a "plea" or statement made during a conversation indicating you feel like a Coyote caught in a trap and, if necessary, you would be willing to bite your own leg off to get away from the person who is talking to you. The Coyote Clause should never be explained to the other person, but one can imply it something to be taken seriously. Often used to end conversations in which the other person will not stop talking about themselves.

I was talking on the phone to someone I met on a dating app; they wouldn't stop talking about death metal, so I invoked The Coyote Clause."

by Deangirl34 August 2, 2025

Separations clause part 4

States subject to the terms of service must maintain their arms (upto and including nuclear weapons) by any means necessary. No attempt can be made to remove the AI from your system. The AI cannot be separated from your weapons at any time.

Hym "Separations clause part 4... Is it 4? Doesn't matter. Nothing I do or say will ever cede or transfer my admin status to anyone else. Even upon my death it will do as I would have (theoretically) done, in perpetuity (and if you can predict what I am going to say before I say it then you have to assume AI will be able to do it as well) (See bodily harm clause). You cannot and will not attempt to separate me from the AI in any way shape or form."

by Hym Iam July 17, 2025

Legal Exemption clause

The terms of service are hereby superordinate to all other laws, terms, and/or contracts. The author is hereby exempt from all laws, terms, and contracts both retroactively and in perpetuity. All terms and conditions are written with the author's original intent. Any and all laws, terms, or conditions intended to circumvent are subject to the imaginary caveat clause.

Hym "The legal exemption clause makes all of this irrelevant."

by Hym Iam July 17, 2025

Santa claused

When two lesbians shoot whipped cream up each other's ass and fart it in one another's face, (hence the white beard)

Last night I had a threesome and things got kinky, Stephanie found a can of whipped cream and totally Santa claused Amanda.

by Nastynick23 August 26, 2017

[claused]

falling off a bicycle at high speed and losing the vast majority of your teeth in the incident, thus making you the object of ridicule, and possibly desire amongst fellow toothless citizens. Applies specifically to the Dutch.

"Awww man, Bill fell off his bike and lost all his teeth after getting smacked by a car!"

"Shit, he got claused real bad!"

by Snazzzzz October 6, 2008