squat cobbler

When a man sits in a pie for other people's sexual pleasure

"He's a squat cobbler!"

Squat cobbler??

"Yeah, he films himself sitting in pies. squat cobbler. Apple, peach, key lime pie, whatever man. He's a squat cobbler."

by thewarrior1986 September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

A person that is fully clothed, sits on any pie.(Boston cream pie, peach, Apple, and cherry). A costume is often involved. Variations include crybaby squat cobbler where the said person is crying, or also known as Boston cream splat east of the Rockies.

Hey jack let's make a squat cobbler video.

Hey Jim can I buy some pies for my squat cobbler group tonight.

by Agggg33 September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler

Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!

by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.

He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by Yankwood August 29, 2016

squat cobbler

When a person, fully clothed mind you, sits on a pie and wiggles their ass around in it.

Dan's tears salted the lightly toasted meringue as he prepared to lower his buttocks for his first squat cobbler.

by toiletjocky August 30, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in pie while fully clothed in order to satisfy another's sexual desire.

Jimmy McGill told those sneakin pigs all about that squat cobbler Pryce.

by sabresfan30 September 3, 2016

The cobblers bootlace

An overly long thin poop that goes on for ages, allowing you to extrude your name on a piece of paper.

''i had to sign a letter from the tax man, but unable to find a pen, i sent him the cobblers bootlace on a piece of paper''

by the grim truth April 12, 2025