Crumpet crippler

The act of shitting out the digested remains of a crumpet, placing it on one’s hand, and slapping one in the genitals until they orgasm uncontrollably leaving them paralysed.

Steve, I’m horny. Give me a crumpet crippler.

by Scousebirdcoleen October 10, 2019

Crumpet

1)Sammyd
2) a person of little or no practical importance

That dumb fucking crumpet

by ThomasM65 December 31, 2019

Crumpet

Sexual orientation
Food

Pass me a crumpet

I identify as a crumpet

by Tom whithout a k June 17, 2020

Bum Crumpets

Larger than standard dry poo chunks that stick to your anus hairs when you do not wipe properly

My arse is full of bum crumpets because the toilet paper was like tracing paper and i was too scared to wipe properly

by SQUEELYBUM May 27, 2017

Crumpet ring

An anal stretching ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."

by lemlemlem May 11, 2018

Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets

"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"

by Yllom.gollom October 4, 2016

Crumpet snatcher

An extremely offensive British offensive, meaning to steal ones freshly buttered crumpets

"Did you steal my tea?" You're such a crumpet snatcher!"

by Yllom.gollom October 4, 2016