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things in the world that aren't up 

When something happens that is not cool in any kind of way
Person 1: shit I hooked up with this haggard chick last night

Person 2: things in the world that aren't up, this conversation.

you ain't the future of shit 

You will not be important in the future and you are not important now. So stop complaining.
Whiner: Man, they really need to pay me more at work.

Aaron: Man, YOU AIN'T THE FUTURE OF SHIT! Stop bitchin'

Chu ain't the mo real

Exactly what it says - you re not the more real...
You may think your cool and all that but Chu ain't the mo real

Why isn't the left winning!? 

Smug, stupid, self-righteous, preachy, dogmatic, authoritarian, obnoxious, petty, incoherent, zealous, dumb, bad... All of the things that are wrong with the religions minus the promise of magic powers and immortality.
Shit-lib "DERRRRR! DERRRRRRRRRR! WHY ISN'T THE LEFT WINNING!? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT ME TO HAVE AN INCREASING AMOUNT OF CONTROL OF THEIR MINDS? DeRrRrRrRrRrR! SHIT-LIB DERRRRRRR!"

D-M-T The HamDizzle 

D-M-T The HamDizzle
Derek-Made-This. The HamDizzle is one of the best Dimethyltryptamine cooks in the North West Not only that But hes also a Mycologist That produces some of the best psilocybin Hybrid mushrooms. If you Know the HamDizzle Then you are a lucky person that should feel blessed to have such a plug.
Damn Bro who has the D-M-T The HamDizzle

Why doesn't anyone have the courage to date Jenna Ortega 

I do and will! Add her to the harem!
Hym " 'Why doesn't anyone have the courage to date Jenna Ortega?' Asks the YouTube shorts. Well, simply put, not everyone is a CORPOREAL GOD! A CORPOREAL GAAAWDAH!!! So, I'll do it! First order of business: Jenna Ortega reboot of the 2004 Christina Ricci movie 'Cursed.' Christina Ricci will reprise her role as.... Ellie- HOLY SHIT JESSE EISENBERG WAS THE BROTHER! HOLY SHIT! I DIDN'T EVEN- Nope! Nope. It's a sequel now. We're doing a full-on sequel. Get Jesse Eisenberg! We're doing a sequel. Yes."