A 'Dirty Suburban' is a matronly, often plump, middle aged, middle classed house wife that can normally be found shopping for deals at WalMart but once bedded could compete with the most limber and liberal pornstars.
by Sigkapp395 February 10, 2010
Get the Dirty Suburban mug.The Suburban Blues Dad --Sections 1-3:
SECTION 1. Outward Appearance:
Goatee/mustache combo, always trimmed to a neat level. Sometimes balding and still trying to rock the long hair.
Over 50, but can be as young as 35.
Summer: "cargo shorts," "mandals", wearing a polo shirt with an embroidered company logo on it. Seldom tattooed.
Winter: Spotless Wilson's leather, recent tour t-shirt from Rush, Jethro Tull, and jeans are relaxed-fit and pre-faded. Also seen with "dockers" trousers.
Seen in Brewpubs with cougar wives the only ones dancing.
SECTION 2--Instrumentation:
Guitars: Fender "strat" or "tele"--spotless '57 reissue
Any Paul Reed Smith guitar
Bass: Any Bass with over 4 strings, period.
Chapman Stick (anyone who plays this should be shot anyway)
Amplification: Trace Eliot, Roland Jazz Chorus, and/or Hartke equipment.
Other Amps: All reissues.
Drums--Too many and too expensive for ability level. If he sings "harmonies" (see below) he tends toward the headset mic.
Keyboards: Too loud and usually shitty sounds.
SECTION 3: Choice of Music:
ALWAYS: anything SRV, and/or a cover of "Little Wing." Also George Thorogood. Dead giveaway signs.
OFTEN: Skynrd, and various other southern "bluesy" bands.
SELDOM: Any song under 10 minutes.
SECTION 1. Outward Appearance:
Goatee/mustache combo, always trimmed to a neat level. Sometimes balding and still trying to rock the long hair.
Over 50, but can be as young as 35.
Summer: "cargo shorts," "mandals", wearing a polo shirt with an embroidered company logo on it. Seldom tattooed.
Winter: Spotless Wilson's leather, recent tour t-shirt from Rush, Jethro Tull, and jeans are relaxed-fit and pre-faded. Also seen with "dockers" trousers.
Seen in Brewpubs with cougar wives the only ones dancing.
SECTION 2--Instrumentation:
Guitars: Fender "strat" or "tele"--spotless '57 reissue
Any Paul Reed Smith guitar
Bass: Any Bass with over 4 strings, period.
Chapman Stick (anyone who plays this should be shot anyway)
Amplification: Trace Eliot, Roland Jazz Chorus, and/or Hartke equipment.
Other Amps: All reissues.
Drums--Too many and too expensive for ability level. If he sings "harmonies" (see below) he tends toward the headset mic.
Keyboards: Too loud and usually shitty sounds.
SECTION 3: Choice of Music:
ALWAYS: anything SRV, and/or a cover of "Little Wing." Also George Thorogood. Dead giveaway signs.
OFTEN: Skynrd, and various other southern "bluesy" bands.
SELDOM: Any song under 10 minutes.
My brother got married, had a couple of kids, moved out to Woburn and became a Suburban Blues Dad. Now he plays once a month at some brewpub up there.
by Scumwaffle October 2, 2010
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by j izzo my nizzo April 15, 2005
Get the suburban gansta mug.by Traffik_ok_kone82 October 2, 2015
Get the chicago suburbs mug.A very tall tale, sometimes (but not always) based on a tiny shred of truthful information, which is spread like wildfire and continuously embellished along the way, throughout the Wilson School District in West Lawn, PA. Wilson Suburban Legends (WSLs) are the apex predators of local fake news.
"Did you sign the petition to stop the from starting school 2 weeks earlier on Change.org?"
"Of course not! I know a Wilson Suburban Legend when I see it!" fake news
"Of course not! I know a Wilson Suburban Legend when I see it!" fake news
by shadow warrior 610 February 16, 2017
Get the Wilson Suburban Legend mug.let me tell ya'll what it's like
being male, middle class and white
it's a bitch, if you don't believe
listen up to my new cd
sham on
i got shit running through my brain
so intense that i can't explain
all alone in my white boy pain
shake your booty while the band complains
i'm rocking the suburbs
just like michael jackson did
i'm rocking the suburbs
except that he was talented
i'm rocking the suburbs
i take the checks and face the facts
that some producer with computers
mixes all my shitty tracks
i'm pissed off but i'm too polite
when people break in the mcdonalds line
mom and dad you made me so uptight
i'm gonna cuss on the mic tonight
i don't know how much i can take
girl give me something i can break
i'm rocking the suburbs
just like quiet riot did
i'm rocking the suburbs
except that they were talented
i'm rocking the suburbs
i take the checks and face the facts
that some producer with computers
mixes all my shitty tracks
in a haze these days
i pull up to the stoplight
i can feel that something's not right
i can feel that someone's blasting me
with hate and bass
sending dirty vibes my way
cause my great great great great grandad
made someone's great great great great grandaddy slaves
it wasn't my idea
it wasn't my idea
it never was my idea
i just drove to the store
for some preparation h
ya'll don't know what it's like
being male, middle class and white
it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say
fuck
just like jon bon jovi did
i'm rocking the suburbs
except that he was talented
i'm rocking the suburbs
i take the checks and face the facts
that some producer with computers
mixes all my shitty tracks these days
i'm rocking the suburbs
you'd better look out because i'm gonna say fuck
being male, middle class and white
it's a bitch, if you don't believe
listen up to my new cd
sham on
i got shit running through my brain
so intense that i can't explain
all alone in my white boy pain
shake your booty while the band complains
i'm rocking the suburbs
just like michael jackson did
i'm rocking the suburbs
except that he was talented
i'm rocking the suburbs
i take the checks and face the facts
that some producer with computers
mixes all my shitty tracks
i'm pissed off but i'm too polite
when people break in the mcdonalds line
mom and dad you made me so uptight
i'm gonna cuss on the mic tonight
i don't know how much i can take
girl give me something i can break
i'm rocking the suburbs
just like quiet riot did
i'm rocking the suburbs
except that they were talented
i'm rocking the suburbs
i take the checks and face the facts
that some producer with computers
mixes all my shitty tracks
in a haze these days
i pull up to the stoplight
i can feel that something's not right
i can feel that someone's blasting me
with hate and bass
sending dirty vibes my way
cause my great great great great grandad
made someone's great great great great grandaddy slaves
it wasn't my idea
it wasn't my idea
it never was my idea
i just drove to the store
for some preparation h
ya'll don't know what it's like
being male, middle class and white
it gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say
fuck
just like jon bon jovi did
i'm rocking the suburbs
except that he was talented
i'm rocking the suburbs
i take the checks and face the facts
that some producer with computers
mixes all my shitty tracks these days
i'm rocking the suburbs
you'd better look out because i'm gonna say fuck
by austinluver March 31, 2005
Get the Rockin the suburbs mug.The supposed "Picture perfect American family." Usually a 9 to 5 father, with a stay at home mother, with a talkitive drama queen daughter, and a football jocky/baseball player son. Have smiles plastered to their face.
Mandy(suburbian1): "Gee, billy, what can we do today!"
Billy(Suburbian2):"Let's try to cheer up that dark depressed goth kid! He'll enjoy it!"
"Goth kid"(poser):"Leave me alone, im conjuring the dead."
Billy(Suburbian2):"Let's try to cheer up that dark depressed goth kid! He'll enjoy it!"
"Goth kid"(poser):"Leave me alone, im conjuring the dead."
by Wigga-squeezer October 15, 2003
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