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as useful as a fly screen on a submarine

This saying was conceived by Bob and his buddy Mel while on a cycle ride to Portsmouth Dock Yard via Gosport in the Summer of 1963. They passed by a naval shipyard and noticed a beached and apparently discarded mini (aka: one-person) submarine in the assembly yard. The yard gate was open, so the guys checked out the sub and noticed that it had an open hatch upon which had been placed a fly screen (of the household variety), beggaring the question: "what is as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"??? Ironically, someone had punched a hole through the screen through which a horde of wasps had flown in through the hatch and nested. The thought came to mind of how annoying it would be - after closing up the submarine - to have the wasps buzzing around inside the sub...

Following immigration to Canada in 1975, one of the guys adjusted the saying to: "as useful as a screen door on a submarine" to accommodate Vancouver Island / BC / Canada / North America vernacular (which didn't recognize the term "fly screen").
the act of a Central Bank 'printing' fiat money, ie: quantitative easing, in an attempt to curb inflation is "as useful as a fly screen on a submarine"
by Myrddin Wyllt October 26, 2022
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midnight submarine

The act of penetrating a woman while she is sleeping. The focus being to get full penetration without her waking up
I woke up last night and gave the wife the old midnight submarine
by Munkiee September 12, 2013
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yellow submarine

we smoked a yellow subamarine uesterday
by Anonymous April 25, 2003
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SACRAMENTO SUBMARINE

WHEN UR IN THE SHOWER, WASHING UR ASS AND UR FINGER GOES IN YOUR ASSHOLE, U THINK ABOUT REMOVING IT BUT YOU R DICK GETS HARD AND SO YOU JERK OFF!!
"HENRY HAS BEEN IN THE SHOWER FOR TWENTY MINUTES, IF YOU HERE HIM SCREAMING HE'S GIVING HIMSELF A SACRAMENTO SUBMARINE
by RONHOVE March 26, 2009
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Yellow Submarine

A sexual act during which a male urinates into a female's mouth and then the female performs oral sex on the male with the urine still in her mouth.
Guy 1: Yo that chick wanted to kiss me after giving me a yellow submarine!

Guy 2: Ha! Only if you're a fan of your own piss and jizz soup!

Guy 1: Ha I know, right! Fuckin' sick slut!!
by zfrank January 24, 2011
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the russian submarine

The process in which a man, or woman, chugs a bottle of hard liquor while ramming a girl from behind while hacking into a computer.
I brought a girl home from the bar and gave her the Russian Submarine.
by Sadface February 1, 2018
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yellow submarine

a long piece of faeces (ie. shit) which floats on the water and is yellowish-brown in colour.
usually smells a lot, and can be found floating in public toilets, because it's too large to be flushed. or in third world countries where toilets aren't available.
paranoid person#1: omg!! look at that disgusting piece of crap down the toilet!
paranoid person#2: euw! flush it quickkkk!!
paranoid person#1: i can't its a yellow submarine!

bacteria: we all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine!!

lil kid: daddy look at that yellow submarine in the river!!
by mls July 8, 2004
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