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New Zealanders

Types of New Zealanders:

- Aucklanders
- Mongrel mobsters
- Islanders
- Bogans
- Deep Southerners

Aucklanders are trying to fit in with the rest of the world and assimilate with American culture by creating over-dramatised reality TV shoes and watching too many movies. In reality they are struggling to find their kiwi identity because they are so locked into their metropolitan lifestyle.

Mongrel mobsters are Maori folks who are pissed at the racial injustices of the past and lash out against the Pakeha imperialist regime through violent anarchy and civil disobedience. All mongrels are dangerous but not all are immoral. Some mobsters work a positive change in their communities by fucking up any dickheads who try to sell harmful drugs to their whanaungatanga.

Islanders are other Polynesian folks who have immigrated to Aotearoa. Islanders are usually devout Christians who love wearing their church clothes and lava lavas, sipping kava and eating pork roasts.

Bogans are rural nutcases who enjoy drinking beer, driving beat up Holdens, and listening to Metallica. They typically have long mullets, few teeth and no shoes.

Deep Southerners are usually white folks of Scottish descent who live in the cold, isolated district of Otago and speak with a thick accent, if they speak at all. Southerners are quite possibly the most hard case, tight lipped people you will ever meet and don't take shit from any pussy arse townies.
Don't sell P to New Zealanders or the mongrel mob will fuck you up.
New Zealanders by Seismic Refugee September 30, 2018

New Zealander 

people that come from New Zealand! Nice people, beautiful country, a country that aussies are jealous of.

Disadvantages: Being so close to australia
New Zealanders are very friendly people. I enjoyed visiting NZ very nice country!
New Zealander by Katarina October 8, 2005

New Zealander 

A Hobbit Like Species, hobbit like in the way were warm, freindly, and can do almost anything with anything.
Godda love that number 8 wire, go kiwi ingenuity
New Zealander by theJackal July 28, 2004

New Zeland 

An imaginery country where dumbass bush-shagging australians might go after they finish their "Sc00L edukatun" and go to to book a holiday to new zealand but can't spell it correctly.
usually visited by people who still think that New Zealand is a part of Australia, that the accents are WORSE than Australians and that everyone shags sheep.
New Zeland by anabanana July 11, 2003

new zeland 

Something people in New Zealand and out New Zealand seem to think New Zealand is. They think it's an uncivilised place. they think we're 60 years back just because our computers don't have the same communication speed as SETI.

Facts about this imaginary place that is really just a stereotype:

Every town only contains 4 shops. These are as follows:
-KFC
-Pub
-The warehouse
-Petrol station.

None of the roads are tar-sealed at all. the roads are pure dust, and there is no sidewalk either.

Ethnic diversity:
there are four ethnic groups in new zeland.
-pakeha
-maori
-islander
-asian

There is absolutely no existence of people from other places such as the americas, europe, or africa...with the exception of tourists, which new zelanders hate, because they don't want anyone to watch them shagging sheep.
Yes, new zelanders get turned on by beastiality, and they have sex with sheep. This is because new zelanders do not have good television or good computers.
Idiot american/aussie/new zealander/: Wow, I went to New Zeland last year. I went to this new zelander's house and his television was only 42''!

moron: only 42''? Shit! those new zelanders are SO uncivilised!

idiot: it gets worse! his internet connection speed is only 6,000,000,000 gigahurts per second!

moron: i'm glad i'm not in new zeland.
new zeland by kinzu_kiwi July 17, 2006

New Zealanders

dudes who walk around in bare foot or something
person 1: I saw some guys walking around in bare foot today. it was kinda weird lol
person 2: must be new zealanders
New Zealanders by orbein July 1, 2023