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sweet zombie jesus on a pogo stick!

Phrase used in extreme exclamation. Derived by the chracacter of Black Mage in "8-bit Theatre" as he was being held over a pot of deadly acid.
by Ron_Thornbrash May 24, 2005
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jesus beard

a man/teenager who has a beard that looks like one which jesus had. It gives the person an uncany resemblance to jesus himself.
"see last night when we were talking about Henri, her son was right behind you and i was trying to tell you to stop!"

"omg is that the guy who looks like jesus?!"

"what?"

"he looks like jesus! he has a jesus beard !"
by bubblez119944 February 24, 2009
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Jesus Lunge

During a Halo 2 or Halo 3 multiplayer game, one player melee lunges an unreasonably far distance to get a kill.
That guy Jesus Lunged me from halfway across the map!!!!!!!
by andoveroe January 14, 2008
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jesus devil

An outwardly cool guy who is actually psychotic. In Irish folklore, a demon with the same charisma as Jesus Christ.
He's such a jesus devil: four girls pregnant simultaneously; three seperate court appearances---'break and enter', 'make an officer of the law look like a suckrod', 'carnal knowledge of a horse'. Plus next week, he auditions as a game show host.
by joethelion January 16, 2009
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jesus seizure

going into a religious based seizure that was seemingly induced by some kind of preacher, but is really the persons own doing. check out benny hinn on youtube, or that movie jesus camp.

The term can also be used when someone is buggin' out over something trivial
"what kind of church is this? pastor is knockin people out, givin everyone jesus seizures"
or
"damn dude, frank is buggin out about his girl. he's straight up havin a jesus seizure, lettin that holy spirit out"
by mkultraWUD August 30, 2011
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Jesus chords

The basic major and minor chord shapes, as generally played on an acoustic guitar. They are commonly referred to as the 'Jesus chords' simply because they make up the majority of Christian worship music. Singer/songwriters are also well-known for playing these chords frequently in their music.

A guitarist who is only playing 'Jesus chords' (and not using a capo) will rarely, if ever, move his hand past the 4th fret.

Major chords:
E, F (barre), G, A, C, and D major

Minor chords:
E and A minor, B minor (movable), and barre chords that don't include the 3rd finger (movable)
I can kinda play guitar...well, I know the Jesus chords, at least.
by tenortoad July 18, 2012
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jesutard

Noun.

1. Describing a person who is simultaneously Christian and stupid.
2. Any person who uses their belief in Jesus Christ as an excuse to willfully ignore the natural world.

3. A person who maintains power by perpetuating Christian beliefs which contradict the realities of nature
Adjective. jesutarded
1.Tammy Faye Bakker was a famous jesutard.
2. The Pope is jesutarded
by Frosty the Cold One April 8, 2015
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