Calm your goats

To tell a person to calm down or to relax.

Jeff said calm your goats to Martha when she was starting to get mad.

by Toeatcake May 21, 2019

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calm yo grits

A hermit crab version of calm yo tits
Used by protective parents. Some kids never grow out of it.

Person1: I hate you!
Person2: Whoa! Calm yo grits.
Person1: Wth does that mean!?
Person2: Calm down, my mom said it was a common saying...

by Parkderp1 October 9, 2016

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calm your spirit

Nicest way to tell your gf/bf to shut the FUCK up.

Derrick always tells Esther to calm your spirit when she won't leave things alone. Wes

by Mz.Wonderful February 11, 2018

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Pet birds are loud, obnoxious animals that never shut the fuck up and that seriously harsh the vibe of any social gathering with their screeching orations. You'd be pissed too if you knew how to fly but were stuck in a cage.

Calm your bird means stop freaking out like a caged bird and harshing the vibe. Either shut the fuck up, or go be free elsewhere.

Joe: "MAN DO YOU SEE THAT GUY? I THINK HE LOOKED AT ME MAN. I THINK HE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING. I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM. I'M GONNA PUT MY FIST RIGHT UP HIS ASS!"

Cool Pete: "Joe. JOE. You're high on acid and cocaine and you saw yourself in the mirror. Calm your bird."

by LicensesToStone May 24, 2016

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Calm the farm turbo

What you say to someone who is "carrying on like a pork chop"...meant to diffuse a situation where somebody is vociferous about a subject to the point of resembling a farm vehicle equipped with turbo doing "circle work" in the paddock.

Bloody this, this bloody that, the world's against me, I'm about to "go postal" and the next person who looks at me sideways is gonna cop a "Liverpool kiss"

...."calm the farm turbo mate", go have a lie down and "she'll be apples" in the morning ;)

by The Gavinator March 10, 2022

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Calm your tits

Something you say when your girl is getting a little too excited/anxious/nervous/etc.

Variation of "Smooth your boobs" "give your chest a rest" "adjust your bust before you combust" "hakuna yo tatas".

Mindy: I can't believe you were flirting with Cindy! We're DATING Tom! Where is your LOYALTY?! How am I supposed to raise our unborn child?!
Tom: Wait... We have a child?
Mindy: That's besides the point. WHY WERE YOU LEADING HER TOWARDS THE BEDROOM?! IN MY OWN HOUSE?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!
Tom: Calm your tits, Mindy, Cindy's my cousin. Besides, you've banged Cindy, Sandy, Quinn, and Nate before.
Mindy: *walks away muttering* Well, so have you...

by Sexy Stripper Queen March 27, 2017

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