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An expression uttered when an individual reacts in an inappropriately excited manner to a given situation.
Jim: "Oh, my God. Did you see that guy hit on my girlfriend? He gave her a drink and smiled at her. He's totally trying to hit on her. I'm going to fight him."

Dave: "Calm your tits, Jim. He's the bartender."
by bassdude726 May 31, 2014
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A phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, pissed off, raging, etc.
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "soothe your boobs"
- "de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"
Example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits. I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*

Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it

combusts.
*end of discussion*

Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams* Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...

Thank you for your time
by Quinelle March 11, 2014
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Very fucked up from substance abuse, can also be alcohol.
"That cunt is 'off his tits' in class every day."
"You were so 'off your tits' last night that you gave the taxi driver a $100 bill and said keep the change. Luckily I grabbed the money, but I yo' aint getting it back. Serve's yo' right for being so 'off tits'."
by Diego September 11, 2003
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this phrase is used when someone you are with is too uptight to calm them down
judy: "oh my goodness my hair looks terrible today"
steve: "no, no it doesnt judy"
judy: "shut up steve, yes it does ahhhhh"
steve: "alright judy calm your tits"
by Sam Bell March 23, 2008
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when a friend or associate incessantly stalks you with a shitload of texts, emails and/or phone calls;

when somebody bugs you so much they're like a little baby crying for the tit

having to deal with an extremely high maintenance person
susan: what the hell, doesn't he get it? My phone is blowing up and he keeps facebooking me every 5 minutes

sandy: that dude is all up on your tit

susan: no shit
by droidette September 20, 2010
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To ask someone to keep their egos in check.
Dude: Man i'm looking guuddd today.
Me: Dude, clam your tits, seriously.
by Noel K July 13, 2011
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