A Vampire who's never had sex in all of his life (which is like over a 100 years). When he does have sex, it's with an anorexic emo whore who's got a Beastiality Fetish with dogs. He knocked her up and know has to change her into a super-fag who can rip his balls off. Yeah, your balls are so in her purse, bro.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
Edward Cullen: Say it, Say it out loud.
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
by l3itchesGetStitches June 13, 2011
"Dude, did you hook up with that chick?"
"Yeah. I went all the way down on her. She was on her period too."
"Damn, you gave her an Edward Cullen? Takes guts, man."
He wants to hook up, but I'm on my period. Guess he'll be giving an Edward Cullen tonight!
"Yeah. I went all the way down on her. She was on her period too."
"Damn, you gave her an Edward Cullen? Takes guts, man."
He wants to hook up, but I'm on my period. Guess he'll be giving an Edward Cullen tonight!
by espenant October 18, 2011
Hot, sparkling vampire is in love with Bella Swan. Every girl either wants him or hates him because they cannot have him.
by edwardobsesssed November 17, 2009
The Edward Cullen effect is when your girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up with you for somebody that does not exist. This is named after Edward Cullen from the Twilight series, as many fangirls broke it off after she "wanted somebody more like Edward Cullen."
Girl: I'm sorry but...I'm breaking up with you.
Guy: Why?
Girl: I just want...somebody more like Edward.
Guy: (Later) She dumped me for somebody that doesn't even exist...what a douche bag.
Guy2: That's the Edward Cullen Effect, man.
Guy: Why?
Girl: I just want...somebody more like Edward.
Guy: (Later) She dumped me for somebody that doesn't even exist...what a douche bag.
Guy2: That's the Edward Cullen Effect, man.
by TheMysteryPosterrrrrrrrrr September 13, 2009
-Noun
1.) An exaggeration of how the brain looks like the skin of Twilight characterEdward Cullen after doing lines of Adderall; pale white and sparkly.
1.) An exaggeration of how the brain looks like the skin of Twilight characterEdward Cullen after doing lines of Adderall; pale white and sparkly.
1.) I've got Edward Cullen Brain.
by Patrykowski21 March 13, 2010
An extreme form of playing hard to get where a male acts as if he respects women to make them fall madly in love with him. This often includes said male letting a woman know he is attracted to her, then will claim to be a virgin and say he wants to wait for the “right girl” . When you try kissing him, he’ll admit that he gets nervous around girls and when you least expect it, he’ll kiss you. He won’t make the first move, but will flirt with you all the time. When you try hanging out with him, he’ll cancel plans at the last minute, then apologize with an innocent smile, and all anger will immediately disappear. As a result of The Edward Cullen Effect, you’ll want to do every sexual thing possible with said attractive male.
by KSteinberg October 17, 2009
The whining Italian, sucking on ice cream to practise for his Scandinavian future husband: "I have to get used to the cold."
The slav: "Mhm bc they all have Edward Cullen dicks in Scandinavia."
s/o to Titty for being a dumbass and not knowing this.
The slav: "Mhm bc they all have Edward Cullen dicks in Scandinavia."
s/o to Titty for being a dumbass and not knowing this.
by tittyboi556 September 29, 2019