Going up the cobbler

A euphemism for a casual sexual liason with a Scottish lass.

I met up with Eric again yesterday. I couldn't see us having serious relationship but we still had a great time going up the cobbler together.

by MountainEar January 23, 2023

doorstep cobbler

A worthless talentless individual, bereft of taste and style; most probably hanging out for a crack at the younget member of the household.

I shouldnt go near them, they look like a doorstep cobbler.

by peter james woods July 20, 2009

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.

He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by Yankwood August 29, 2016

squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler

Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!

by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in pie while fully clothed in order to satisfy another's sexual desire.

Jimmy McGill told those sneakin pigs all about that squat cobbler Pryce.

by sabresfan30 September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of putting one's buttocks into a fresh pie, and wiggling their cheeks back and forth.

Some prefer that Squat Cobbler also involve the participant crying while performing the act.

Dude, don't eat that Key Lime Pie! Pryce just used it for squat cobbler!

by bigjohnston September 3, 2016

Dirty Cobbler

The Dirty Cobbler is a three part culinary experience. Part one (the crumble): The base of the cobbler must be constructed, this may involve a number of techniques dependent on resources available. A female base, requires the base individual to refrain from washing her vagina for 3-5 days in order to build a healthy yet fresh crust, that can be crumbled using fingers – dependent on taste. A male base, involves intentionally reducing effort in wiping one’s anus (2-4 days) in order to leave winnets, these can be hardened in direct contact with sun light – dependent on taste. If time constraints prevail both genders may choose the short option of placing a digestive biscuit (cookie) into a plastic bag and crumbling by hitting it with a rolling pin, penis or penises, before placing this in the orifice of your choice.

Part two (the fruit sauce), the other person must eat 300g of Peaches, Pineapple, or Mango 6-8 hours before, then proceed to ejaculate onto the pre-made cobbler base.

Part Three (dining), The completed cobbler is then eaten by the ejaculator, spoon fed to the base individual, or consumed by an interested third party.

Darling, shall we make a dirty cobbler when the Browns come for dinner this Friday?

Yes what a lovely idea, would you prefer a natural or biscuit base?

by Spit, Helmet Madness & Banana July 4, 2015