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STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS

{stat – ute - uv - lim – i – tay – shuns}:
The agreement, usually nonverbal and not always legally formalized, that occurs between husband and wife shortly after (before?) marriage. It lays out his limitations. Following are some standard clauses (No, not Nicholas or Martha):

1. Football Limitation: 1 day per week
2. Guys Night Out Limitation: 1 night per month
3. Trash Detail Limitation: NONE. Husbands are always on trash detail
4. Bikini Ogling Limitation: NEVER unless it’s the wife in the bikini - Or you’re certain she’ll never find out
5. Alcohol Intake Limitation:

a. 1 glass wine daily with dinner

b. 1 six-pack beer for Monday Night Football

c. Exception: 2 six-pack beer for Monday Night Football if you

have a buddy over or the wife is feeling generous.

d. 2 large glasses expensive champagne – 1 time/year on anniversaries
According to the Statute of Limitations you can't go to the bar tonight with Fred. It's my dinner night!
by Androlian February 6, 2014
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Facebook Statute 371

The posting of cat pictures on Facebook is strictly forbidden.

Exception is taken to this rule if the person's wall which is posted on is either asleep, intoxicated, or open to hacks.
A: Dude! You can't post cat pictures, FACEBOOK STATUTE 371!

B: Nah, its cool, she's wasted.
by TepidManbeast August 7, 2011
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Statusfy

The act of posting or updating your status on one of the many social networking sites.
I'm totally gonna statusfy what John just said!
by mrcpr09 October 22, 2009
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Emily’s theory on the United States Government

Emily’s theory on the United States Government states that if president Biden does not soon realize he is acting like a commie and that the American people are over it he will find himself no longer the president of the United States.
And I said to the president if you do not believe in Emily’s theory on the United States Government then you can test it at your earliest convince.
by Beau Dean November 16, 2021
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Staush

The name of a person that is an asshole
Everyone hates Staush because he is an asshole
by Thegooddoer May 24, 2016
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United States of America

A country that the rest of the world hates because they want to be like them.
"We don't want to be like the rest of the world. We want to be like the United States of America." -Marco Rubio
by Bussss September 4, 2016
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united states of whatever

Breeder song.

Those breeders who sing that should make their own country called the united states of copulation.
by Breeder June 5, 2003
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